Familiar Habitat
by BettyLovesCupcakes
Summary: Set After Winter Soldier - Natasha is now living undercover in Canada, in a safe house, and is required to let a certain Bucky Barnes, live with her, much to her dismay. Will one of them end up killing the other or will they realise that they are not so different... Natasha/Bucky
1. Chapter 1

**FAMILIAR HABITAT**

_Set After Winter Soldier - Natasha is now living undercover in Canada, in a safe house, and is required to let a certain Bucky Barnes, live with her, much to her dismay. Will one of them end up killing the other or will they realise that they are not so different... Natasha/Bucky_

_**please do leave a review :D**_

**CHAPTER ONE**

Natasha sat upright hearing the front door open. It was the sound that she was dreading and anticipating at the same time. How many would have tried to find her? Now that everything was public. Her past, her crimes, her aliases. As soon as she had done that, Nick Fury had set up a safe house in Canada for her to live until she could figure out a new cover and for three months she had lived peacefully. Sure, she only ever had broken sleep but she was the Black Widow - she could never let her guard down. She was used to isolation and living right by the lake, meant that there was hardly anybody around. Whenever she did see people, they minded their own business. It was a routine she was getting used to, until she heard the sound of the door.

She quickly jumped out of bed, silently and grabbed her gun from underneath the mattress. Slowly, she walked towards her bedroom door and listened intently. She could hear the soft breaths of a man, no far than five feet from her door. She inhaled slowly, before swinging open the door and aiming the gun.

"Whoa! Hey - You don't see for me several months and this is how you greet me?!" Clint said, eyebrows raised. He was suited up and had his handy bow in his hand.

Natasha frowned at him, lowering her gun. "Clint - What are you doing here? If anybody followed you-"

He waved her off mid sentence. "-They haven't. I'm here on business - with Fury." Natasha let out a slight huff, narrowing her eyes at him. "Look, I'm heading off to Europe ASAP - I've been ordered to try and apprehend these... twins - apparently, they are quite special and dangerous. But I'm here...to tell you that we need a favour, of some sorts."

"How many?" Natasha asked, fearing that one of the many enemies who were after her now knew her location.

"Natasha..."

"How many know where I am?"

Clint shook his head, looking behind his shoulder at somebody out of her sight. "None, except one."

Natasha tensed up. She trusts Clint and Steve. She trusts Fury and that was all. She could not and would not trust anybody else."Who?"

"This is complicated and we have a good reason for this, Tasha, just-"

"_Who _is it?" She repeated starting to feel angry.

"Barnes..."


	2. Chapter 2

**FAMILIAR HABITAT**

**Hey! Thanks firstly to everyone that has favourited, followed and reviewed the story. This FanFiction will be exploring both Bucky's and Natasha's past, leading eventually to Bucky/Natasha.**

**Hope you enjoy the next part - Read, Review & Enjoy!**

**CHAPTER TWO**

To Clint's surprised, Natasha laughed, shaking her head in what he assumed to be disbelief. "Thank you." She muttered, a grin on her face, placing her gun on the table in the passage. She shut her bedroom door and leaned against it.

Clint frowned at her, feeling slightly confused at her reaction. He had imagined every other scenario except for her laughing and thanking him. "For..."

"Confirming that I'm hallucinating." She replied. She was hoping she was hallucinating, there was no possible way in hell that he expected to bring the Winter Soldier and for her to greet him happily. This was the man that had tried to kill her twice: she had the scars as a daily reminder. It doesn't matter if he was brainwashed, that wasn't any of her business.

Clint took a step towards her. "Tasha, this isn't a joke."

Natasha tensed up, narrowing her eyes at him. "Are you aware that Rogers and Wilson are both looking for him?" She asked him, wondering how Steve would react finding out that his "best friend" was hiding out with her.

"Yes, but... Okay, look - After what happened in New York, Fury and you decided that I should go on vacation, relax, stretch my feet." Clint said, bringing back the memories from what had happened in New York.

"I'm well aware of that." Natasha response.

Clint nodded. "I come back and find that Tony no longer has the arc reactor, Thor was in Greenwich _and_ SHIELD is corrupt. But most importantly, _you. _Everything that you have wanted to be kept secret is exposed - you're exposed." He had a concerned look on his face looking at her and glanced back across his shoulder.

"Hence why I'm here."

"Hiding."

"I like to think of it as an extended vacation." She replied, smirking at him.

"Well, Bucky-"

Natasha raised an eyebrow, hardly believing what she was hearing."You're on nickname basis with him now?"

"Give him a chance - he's in the same position as you."

"I never got the chance to shoot him **twice**." She said coldly, remembering the times he shot through her hip and in her shoulder. He was one of the few people to have harmed her and live to see the next day.

"But you've been _there... _brainwashed." He told her, lowering his voice slightly. " Fury wants the both of you to stick together, seeing as you are both targets at the moment and have been in familiar situations. Try to help him make sense of his past."

"So you want me to babysit? You know I don't play nice with people I don't like."

"I don't think they are going to give either of us a choice." Bucky said, walking in. He was dressed in casual civilian clothing and wore a tired look on his face. He carried a small bag which she assumed contained clothes and other essentials. He glanced over at her before looking back down at the floor. Natasha had enough dealing with one man out of time, she couldn't deal with another - especially one that tried to kill her.

Natasha coldly looked towards him. "You try to shoot me, stab me or harm me in any way possible and I _will_ end you." She threatened, not trusting him instantly.

"Tasha..." Clint warningly said.

"I'm not going to _live _with a man that shot me twice!" She said through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to reach for her gun.

Bucky looked up, frowning. A genuine confused look on his face. "Twice? When-When did I shoot you..." He trailed off, looking back down, still frowning.

Natasha sighed, recognising that look. Clint was right, she had been there. She has had those memories flashing back, being told things that she never even remembered doing. "I'm not going to get a choice, am I Clint?"

"Tasha... _You've been there..." _Clint told her. He glanced down at his phone and sighed. "I have to get going."

"So the spare bedroom?"

"For Bucky. Tasha I have to go. You have the emergency phone - just in case. We'll be in contact soon." He said, before giving her a quick hug and heading towards the door.

"See you, Clint." She called back to him. He turned around and nodded at both of them, before closing the door, leaving the two of them standing there.

"So, where do I-" Bucky begun to say, before Natasha walked to her bedroom and slammed the door shut, leaving him standing there with his bags. "Got it...okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**FAMILIAR HABITAT**

**WOW! There have been SO many favourites, follows and reviews - To everyone that has took time to read this and leave a review - Thank You all very much :) I'm very glad you are all enjoying this so far :)**

**Read, Review & Enjoy! :)**

**CHAPTER THREE**

Natasha waited by the door, convincing herself that she would hear him pull out a gun. All she could hear was him muttering something, before opening several doors. Moments later she heard the sound of his bag, followed by a slam of the door - she assumed that he found the bedroom. Exhaling slowly, she lowered her gun and clicked the safety back into place. She just wanted to get into the mindset of Fury and Barton - they know she has trust issues, to say the least. She couldn't care less if she had been in the same situation as him - that was the past. Even though her past may be plastered all over the internet, she has moved on from that. All that mattered at that moment, was laying low until the whole thing died down and any targets on her, have been removed due to lack of activity and sighting. She looked once more towards the door, before heading back to bed, a thousand thoughts running through her head.

* * *

Bucky dropped his bag to the floor, looking around the room - It was basic, more than he was used to. A single bed, wardrobe, chair and a mirror. He stared at his reflection; his hair slighter longer and his beard covering the lower part of his face. _I should be dead... _He numbly thought. He felt empty inside, he was a shell - he didn't even know who he was. _Winter Soldier...James...Bucky... _They seemed like names with no face. The flashes were getting worse; memories from his life in the war and from most recent events rolled into one. He sighed sitting on the bed, and clutched his head with both of his hands, deep in thought. _Remember... Try to remember..._ This was a new start, a fresh chance. That man, Barton, could have easily killed him but told him that others saw the potential in him - that he wasn't the only one to turn his life around. He grunted in frustration, no memory of the incident coming back... "When did I shoot her twice?" He wondered out loud...

* * *

Natasha stared at the ceiling. She hadn't predicted being in this situation - she wasn't his babysitter nor was she going to be his therapist. However, she didn't exactly have a choice; she owed Clint...

_SEVEN YEARS AGO..._

_Natasha stopped in her tracks, raising her hands to either side of her head. A part of her was glad; it was finally going to happen. That was common sense. At least the man would put her out of her misery._

_"Stop right there." He said, raising a bow. She instantly wondered why an arrow. A gun would be more effective. _

_"Are you here to kill me?" She sarcastically asked, smirking. It was a rhetorical question and she prayed he would say yes. She was done fighting, all she did was run and escape. But that never took away the empty feeling - like a shell._

_"That depends on what your reaction will be." He replied, his steady grip on the bow never swaying._

_She raised her head, her long hair brushing back past her shoulders. "Go right ahead."_

_The man frowned at her, tilting his head to the side slightly. "Wasn't expecting that." He replied. " - you were brainwashed, weren't you?"_

_Natasha swallowed, worried about another episode happening. The flashes -a memory. Of her former life or of the life she lead under their leadership, making her kill all the innocent men, woman and children. "I don't know."_

_"What do you remember?" He asked her, a hint of emotion which she was not familiar with flashing past his dark eyes._

_"Torturing and killing people... __**the red room**__.." She told him. She didn't even know what the red room was, she just remembered it. " Stop stalling and just get this over and done with."_

_"I'm going slightly off the grid here...but, If I was to say you can turn your life around and wipe some of that red of your ledger - what would you say?"_

_Natasha blinked, frowning at him. She shook her head. "You shouldn't trust me."_

_"I'm not - you make one wrong move and I'll kill you." He commented, smiling slightly. _

_"That's reassuring." She dryly replied._

_"It's meant to be - I work with SHIELD. I know you're dangerous and confused, but not to sound like a stereotype but we can help. Help you remember and help you to do good." He told her._

_Natasha narrowed her eyes at him, if he was going to kill her she would be dead by now. She didn't know what else she could do - keep running, dodging assassinations? She had made a lot of enemies and a load of people want her head. She had hurt a lot of people. A chance to turn it around seemed too good to be true. "What if I change my mind?"_

_"If you don't like it, you can go whenever you want..." He reassuringly told her. "Look... You're not the only one with a past, we all have out dirty secrets - you'll fit in."_

_"What's your name?" She asked him._

_The man lowered the bow and held out his hand to her. "Clint Barton."_

Natasha opened her eyes slowly, to see the room was still dark. She must have dozed off for about half hour but she could see it, she could why. Being stubborn wouldn't change the fact that she _had _been there. She knew exactly what he was going through and she was best qualified to help him wipe the red off his ledger...


	4. Chapter 4

**FAMILIAR HABITAT**

**WOW! There have been SO many favourites, follows and reviews - To everyone that has took time to read this and leave a review - Thank You all very much :) I'm very glad you are all enjoying this so far :)**

**The next chapter will be longer (Y) - This one is sort of the set up for it. Later on in this story, there will be some cameos (Steve? Tony? Fury? - who knows!) and some surprises as well. There is action to come :)**

**Read, Review & Enjoy! :)**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Natasha took a sip of the hot coffee, savouring the flavour as she looked outwards past the window. She was thankful that Fury put her up in a peaceful and calm location; they weren't the two words she got to use often in her life. She wondered what the next step would be; how she was supposed to help Bucky - she was barely helping herself. There is no recovery and no forgetting - only acceptance, and she knows exactly how hard it is too accept the horrible parts of you. She stopped running away from being Black Widow and openly welcomed it. She was a spy, she was a killer - the extent which she was made to use them, she accepted. Even the memories which haunted her and occasionally cause her nightmares. She wondered how different her life would be today, if _that event _never happened; she would have never met Fury, Barton or Rogers, never would have joined SHIELD or helped in the way that she had.

"...Morning." Bucky said quietly, disturbing Natasha from her thoughts. Natasha turned her head, to see him standing there, his hair slightly wet from the shower. He avoided eye contact with her and walked over to the kettle, picking it up.

"The waters not hot." She drawled, narrowing her eyes at him. He looked tired, like crazy tired. It wasn't just the bags under his eyes but his whole body language.

He turned around, this time meeting her eyes. "What?" He asked.

"The kettle...you need to boil it..." Natasha told him, realising how this was going to go. _What the hell are Nick and Clint on?! _She angrily thought. Not only is she supposed to help him, but here in front of her, is yet _another _man out of time. A part of her, a very small part of her, sympathised with him. Bucky looked back at the kettle, frowning before letting out a sigh. He pushed down the button and took a step away from it, squinting his eyes shut.

"So, not only do I have to... _deal..._ with **what **I am...but I need to get to grips with everything that is new." He told her out loud, breathing heavily.

Natasha grew alert, her hand wavering by the gun taped under the table. She knew how her episodes worked when she tried to remember, it was like she was two different people and the more she stressed out, the more she forgot the present and started to live in the past. "Be thankful you're not from Asgard - some of them are messed up." She sarcastically said, trying to change the subject. _Get up to date with the 21st Century - First Topic... Crazy son-of-a-bitch god/ frost giant! _

Bucky squinted, trying to remember where he had heard that word from. The kettle clicked and he poured his coffee, before picking it up and sitting on the furthest chair from Natasha. "From where?" He finally asked.

Natasha smirked slightly, feeling a strong feeling of déjà vu. "Asgard - Gods..._ Thor..." _She prodded, she watched him for a reaction but he kept frowning. "Never mind - we need to lay down some ground rules..." She told him, deciding that the only way for them to live together and for her to help him deal with his episodes, was by making some rules.

"What if I'm not okay with that?" Bucky asked her, still looking apprehensive and tense. He didn't trust her and he was pretty certain that she didn't trust him.

"It's not your choice." She simply replied.

"Is it true?" He asked her, holding the mug of coffee in his hand. Hi gaze was directed out of the window, clearly taken aback by the view. Compared to what he had been used to, whether it was the war as Bucky or the violent crimes as the Winter Soldier - the view was most calming and welcoming. He turned his attention back to Natasha who was looking at him, clearly waiting for him to carry on speaking. He took a breath before asking her, "Have you been... **brainwashed? **Made to do things no good person would."

Natasha inhaled slowly, giving him a cold stare. He was either trying to tick her off or he genuinely didn't know. The news happily made articles about the crimes she committed, they never knew she was brainwashed or about the red room, but they made sure to make her seem like a violent, cold blooded killer. "You've seen the news - you should know." She coldly told him, the atmosphere changing in the room.

"I, er..." Bucky begun to say, his eyes softening slightly. "I avoided reading or hearing anything that mentioned your name."

Natasha's face softened slightly, taken aback by his answer. This was him. James Barnes. Right in front of her, it wasn't a confused man, wondering about his identity. She half wished that Steve was here to witness it, the subtle changes in his eyes, his voice. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Out of respect... ma'am."


	5. Chapter 5

**FAMILIAR HABITAT**

**Thank you, once again, to everyone that has been reading and following/ adding to favourites and reviewing. You are all awesome (Y)**

**Read, Review & Enjoy! :)**

**CHAPTER FIVE**

The glimmer of unknown emotion in his eyes, had faded just as quickly as it had appeared, Natasha noted. _He said Ma'am... _She thought, cautiously looking at him.

"I..." Bucky said, trailing off. He shook his head and looked back up at her. Was that who he was? A polite, soldier? He almost laughed at the notion of that - he was a murderer, he had killed god knows how many people. How would the past help him when he can't escape from the present? "You said ground rules." He told her, wanting to concentrate on something else..._anything else..._

Natasha nodded, the confusion on his face looking all too familiar to her. Not knowing which part of the personality is who you truly are and which part is what you were made to be. Her eyes glanced over his arm, imagining the pain he would have faced having that _metal _arm. "Ground rules...You try to kill me and I'll do the same to you - but probably would succeed. " She said. To her surprise, Bucky snorted, shaking his head at her. "Is there a problem, James?"

"James?" He repeated, raising his eyebrows at her.

Natasha sighed. "What do you want me to call you? What's your name?"

Bucky swallowed, narrowing his eyes at her. "I don't-"

"-Don't be stupid, you have a name - tell me." She prodded.

He inhaled sharply, before shrugging. "I guess... Bucky? That's what _he _referred to me as and your boyfriend as well."

"You mean, Steve and Clint - and neither of them are my boyfriend. Relationships are a waste of time." She said darkly, remembering how it went before when she tried to maintain a relationship.

"Why's that?" He asked,

Natasha cleared her throat, wanting to change the subject. She never liked talking about herself, to most that made her cold but she would much rather concentrate on somebody else. "Ground rule number two - I'm here to help you try to make sense of...well, everything." She told him, she stretched her arms forward, resting on the tabletop. "You **need** to cooperate, if I ask you to do something - you do it. There's intention behind everything."

"Is there an intention for these 'ground rules'?" He challenged, inhaling the aroma of his coffee. Whoever he was, whatever happened in the past - one thing was clear. He needed to know why. Why does he have to listen? What would he gain out of it?

"Cause I am trying to help you." She sternly told him. "Was there a problem, by the way?" She asked him, referring to his previous derogatory reaction.

" No offence, but I doubt you could beat me." He told her, noticing how petite she was. Sure she was strong but he had _that_ arm. As much as he hated it, at least it could give him the upper hand.

Natasha smirked, trying to lighten the mood. She could have brought up how he shot **through ** her and she has a constant reminder of it every day, how she tried to haunt him down to exact revenge. "You've never sparred with me." She replied.

Bucky nodded, exhaling slowly. "Well, I apparently tried to kill you."

Natasha swallowed, remembering the two scars which she now bore as a result. "I remember." She quickly said. "How come your here?"

Bucky frowned at her. "You know why... So I can-"

"-No, I know _that_... I meant how did Barton find you?

_**TWO MONTHS AGO...**_

_Bucky kept his head down, not wanting to attract attention. He blended in here, people walking and chattering about. Taking photos and reading. This is where he had to be. For the past couple of weeks, he walked around aimlessly, having a mental battle within himself. There was only one way to answer the question that had been bothering him. He shuffled his sleeve down further, to cover his arm and looked up at what he had been looking for. So many thought s and emotions ran through him as he read. Mainly, that Steve was telling the truth. He tried to kill him - he tried to kill his...friend? And that __**they **__lied to him! They made him kill people! Here, on that wall, was listed how he was heroic... a soldier. He __**was **__Bucky. He __**was **__James Barnes. He had heard both the truth and the lies and now he just felt...lost. _

"_So your him, huh?" A man's voice said from behind, bringing him out of his thoughts. Bucky turned around, fist ready to attack. The man held both of his hands up slightly." Hey buddy, I'm not here to hurt you - I'm trying to help."_

_"No one can help me." He coldly replied, staring icily at him._

_The man nodded in return, handing a plastic bag over to him. Bucky cautiously took it from him and looked inside to see a bottle of water and a packed sandwich. His stomach rumbled, he had relied on stealing what he could for the past weeks. "Do you recognise him?" The man asked, looking past Bucky and at the wall which displayed a picture of him from years ago, accompanied with the text detailing his adventures. _

_"I'm not having this conversation." _

_"I'm Clint, by the way - I worked alongside Rogers." Bucky looked up hearing Steve's name, the man who he nearly killed. "Look, this is Déjà Vu. Because I know someone who went through the __**same thing **__as you -"_

_"-No one has been through-"_

_"-Trust me, she has. She can help you try to remember, make sense of who you are. Right now, I can tell you that there are over fifteen people trying to find you and kill you. You need to lay low - I can offer you a sanctuary..."_

Natasha shook her head slowly, all of what Bucky just said ringing true to her. Bucky stood up, breathing heavily and clutching the cup that he was holding. Natasha stood up instantly, watching his cautiously. "Hey..." She said, waiting for a reaction but he just squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the side of the counter, his cup slipping through his hands and smashing into pieces on the floor. "Barnes - You have to stop fighting it! Stop trying to not remember..." He gritted his teeth, grunting slightly as he crouched down towards the floor.

"Bucky!"


	6. Chapter 6

**FAMILIAR HABITAT**

**Thank you, once again, to everyone that has been reading and following/ adding to favourites and reviewing. It is very motivating :)**

**Read, Review & Enjoy! :)**

**CHAPTER SIX**

_"Bucky!" _Natasha called him, squatting down to see him squeezing his eyes shut, breathing heavily. She gingerly touched him on his shoulder, trying to get his attention.

Bucky turned around to her sharply, opening his eyes, which were filled with rage and regret. It happened just like before, out of the blue. Then the vivid reminder came, literally bringing on a migraine instantly and when his eyes were shut, all he could see was another person getting hurt as a result of his unconscious actions. _I'm seeing who I really am... what they __**made **__me become... _He felt angry. Furious - they had used him. Nearly every day he wished he was dead, as a result of his actions. Feeling her touch his shoulder, brought him back to reality and he sharply pushed away her hand. "Don't touch me..." He hissed at her, earning a glare back from her in return.

"Don't you _dare _threaten me." She quietly told him, staring icily at him. How was she supposed to help him when he was freaking out over a simple touch?

He shook his head, grabbing onto the counter and slowly getting up. Natasha did the same as he begun to speak. "You don't understand - Everybody I get near to, I want to kill. It's an urge-"

"-It's an urge that HYDRA gave you - don't forget that." Natasha interrupted. She knew fine well that the worst thing to do is blame yourself and forget about who made you that way.

Bucky nodded, moving the broken pieces of the cup to the side with his foot. "Why don't I remember the people I killed? Tell me that."

Natasha swallowed, remembering everything that she had read in his file. "Do you really want to know the truth?"

"I think so." Bucky muttered, sighing heavily. He looked at his 'arm', not even remembering the moment when they did that to him. He wanted so badly to know the truth, but if her learnt it all too much, too fast - who knows what would happen. "Perhaps we should... just leave it for now."

"Finally, something smart from you." She commented dryly, walking across the kitchen to the back door. She clicked the lock and opened the door, letting the fresh air in. "Tell me something - what did you just remember?"

"I can't." He replied shortly, crouching down to pick up the pieces of the cup. He scooped all pieces up and put them in the bin, wiping his hand afterwards. He looked up to see her looking at him, almost apprehensively.

"You need to say it - That makes it real." She told him, crossing her arms. "Every time you remember something, write it down or confide in somebody."

"Meaning you."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, there aren't exactly a queue of people lining up."

"Thanks for the reminder." He replied bitterly, casting her a dirty look.

"Don't give me an attitude, _Bucky. _This-" She said, motioning her hands at herself then at him. "-Is not what I would want, in a million years. But unfortunately, circumstances mean that both yourself and I are targets, and have also been made to kill."

"And again, thanks for the reminder."

She gave him a hard stare. "**What **did you remember? I'm not going to ask again."

He huffed, raising his eyebrows. "Shooting you." He replied, walking near to the door where she stood. He turned and had a look outside, enjoying the cool breeze on his face. He looked at her and placed a finger on her hip. "There."

Natasha nodded, feeling slightly uncomfortable with his sudden gesture. "You shot through me, to kill another." She told him, remembering the incident very clearly. The instant pain from the bullet and the anger and rage she felt, determined to haunt him down for payback. _How Ironic... _She thought, the man she once was so determined to kill, the winter soldier - she is now helping.

"Well, there you have it. Do you have a scar from it?" He asked her, looking slightly apologetic. A part of him wanted to apologise, to tell her he is sorry. A part of him wanted to apologise to everyone he had hurt. But another part of him, his subconscious, told him that it was his mission. The Winter Soldiers target.

Natasha smirked. "Not the most attractive thing - bye, bye Bikinis." She frowned a little, remembering saying the exact same thing to Steve, at the time of Fury's 'death'. Bucky nodded, clearly feeling slightly awkward at the moment. "Go for a run a swim in the lake."

He raised his eyebrows questioningly, clearly taken aback by the question."That's your invaluable advice?"

"Oh look, sarcasm - how witty." She replied, motioning towards the lake outside. "Take your anger out - Run or swim fast. Trust me it works. "

"So... anything fast to take out my anger?" He asked, confirming what she had said.

"Well, not anything." She muttered. "Go."

Bucky cleared his throat before walking out of the door and towards the lake, leaving Natasha alone. She sighed, walking to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water, taking a big gulp. She was bored, that much was true. She didn't like not working, hiding out wasn't what she wanted. Helping Bucky gave her something to do, but still, she'd rather be on a mission. Natasha glanced out of the window to see Bucky take off his top as he walked towards the lake. She swallowed slightly, feeling somewhat surprised by how well built he was. As quickly as the thought entered her head, she change the direction. _You are here to __**help **__him - don't forget that._

"No way in hell." She muttered to herself, walking out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**FAMILIAR HABITAT**

**Thanks to everyone that has been reading and following/ adding to favourites and reviewing. You are all awesome (Y)**

**BTW - I have reposted the chapter as I have extended it slightly - please do drop a review :)**

**Read, Review & Enjoy! :)**

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

Natasha gazed absent-mindedly at the television, her feet curled up on the sofa. She was changed into a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt, the list of groceries to get placed on the arm of the chair. She hated when that day came, for her to go out to the supermarket and buy the food. She was cautious and suspicious - she didn't even trust the checkout clerk. Even though she wore the blonde wig every time she went out in public, she was still convinced somebody was following her. Everybody knew who she was and what she had done.

"What a load of rubbish." She commented out loud, switching the channel on the TV. She avoided the news like the plague and all that was left to watch was silly reality shows. She craned her head around wondering where Bucky was. It was eleven thirty in the morning and she had not seen nor heard from him. It has been several days since their last conversation - since then, it had been nothing but civil comments, nothing more. She wasn't interested in talking much too him - he disagreed with stuff she said and she disagreed with everything he said. Their "progress" on his past had been put on hold indefinitely, due to his reluctance to cooperate. So the past four days passed on, with the simple mornings/ good nights and each of them swimming in the lake at different times. It seemed that they both had vented up anger to take out on the lake, front crawling furiously through the water.

"No!" Bucky called out loud, the sound slightly muffled. Natasha jumped up and pivoted on the spot, holding her breath to hear the direction of the sound. "No!" He screamed again, sounding as if he was in pain. Natasha sprinted towards the bedroom, opening the door slowly and peeking her head through. His quilt was on the floor and he only had his boxers on, his fists were curled and his face was scrunched up in pain.

Natasha swallowed, walking cautiously by the side of his bed and crouching down. "Jame- _Bucky..._" She called, moving his hair from his face. His eyelids were squinted shut and he was breathing rapidly. "Wake up..." She told him softly. Her instinct would be to slap him or shout at him to wake him up, but last time when she was having a nightmare of the people she had killed - she broke the persons arm which slapped her.

Bucky gasped, his eyes opening in terror and sitting up quickly. He turned to Natasha before glancing around the room again. "Go." He quietly told her. He sighed heavily, brushing his matted hair away from his face.

Natasha noticed a small scar on the back of his left shoulder as he stood up slowly, he picked up the quilt from the floor and chucked it back on the bed. Natasha sighed, taking a seat on his bed and looking up at him. "Listen to me, Bucky-"

"-You need to leave me alone." He warningly told her, grabbing his clothes from the nearest chair and quickly putting them on.

"Leave you alone? Because that's going to work - isn't it?" She asked him sarcastically. "The only reason why you are here is because I _know _what it is you are going through. Get that through your skull."

He turned towards her, stepping closer. "You don't have a clue - I'm awake and I get hunted by these images. When I sleep, it's exactly the same. Whatever I do - I am always going to be reminded of the monster that they made me... So, don't tell me that you understand!"

Natasha nodded, standing up and taking a step towards him, not about to be intimidated by him. All of her instincts told her to punch him or kick him. Just to make him shut up. "I don't have a clue? Really?" She asked him, raising her eyebrows at him. "You are not the only one with red on your ledger. For years, I have killed people under the order of somebody else. _ Black Widow..."_

"Why do people call you that?" He asked her, his t shirt hanging in his hand.

Natasha glanced down at his chest, before looking back up at him. "Because I have a skill set to hurt, intimidate and kill - and I used it on anybody they told me to." She swallowed, wondering how much she should tell him. _Why bother restricting it? All he has to do is a Google search and he'd find out... Just like everybody else had. _She inhaled sharply. " There was a target - Drakov... I can't remember his last name, but they didn't want me to kill him physically. They wanted me to kill him emotionally, so I kidnapped his daughter and each day sent him her fingers, then her toes..." She swallowed, remembering how she would wake up screaming in horror at the memory of it. " She was fourteen years old and hadn't hurt a single person. So twenty days went by, then I ended it. Sent him her head. He killed himself a day after, hung up in his bathroom." She blinked several times, feeling the unknown emotion of sadness creep in. "When I had the episodes -like you are having - I couldn't handle it. I loaded a gun and put it to my temple... Nick Fury stopped me. He saved my life. Since then, I've learned to accept those memories...because they are a part of me."

Bucky starred at her, speechless at what to say at her admission. "I remembered them doing this-" He told her, motioning to his metal arm. "The pain and I **begged **for them to kill me."

"Evidently, they didn't." She commented dryly, trying to picture being awake during that procedure. She walked towards the door as he put on his t-shirt.

"Are you going somewhere?" He asked her, noticing her formally dressed attire.

Natasha nodded in response. "Local supermarket - we are out of vegetables...and fruit...and milk."

"Maybe... I could come along - It would do me some good to be out of here." He told her, looking gingerly around his room, the haunted expression still in his eyes.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him, sighing silently. It would help him to be out, get fresh air and just generally try to blend in with everyday civilisation. The only problem was how he looked - anyone could recognise him. She needed to change his appearance to make him not stand out, make him look like anybody else. She watched as he ran his hand through his hair again and that's when the idea struck her. "Do you trust me?"

"No."

She smirked lightly. "Tough luck - I'm cutting your hair."


	8. Chapter 8

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**This chapter is slightly shorter - do leave a review, as that way I know if people are liking the progression and what is happening and if I am going in right direction. I noticed a drop in reviews on previous chapter, so wasn't sure if people are still liking this or not.**

**Read, Review and Enjoy (Y)**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Natasha placed the two bags on the kitchen work surface, turning around, hands resting on the edge. She watched Bucky do the same thing, glancing down as he passed the mirror. No surprises there - ever since two hours ago, when she cut his hair, he avoided his reflection. He took one look at his new short hair and instantly walked away from her. She got it though - it reminded him of the old Bucky. She found it amusing how he was defined by how his hair was - long was Winter Soldier and short was Bucky. However, for him - he couldn't quite define between the two different people. Luckily, the trip to get the food was straight forward, although Bucky was overly curious by a load of the products. She forgot that he was a man out of time as well, although in completely different circumstances than Steve. No one suspected anything, they just seemed like two ordinary people - the irony of it made her want to laugh.

Natasha tutted out loud, getting his attention. "Did I cut it wrong?" It was a rhetorical question and she figure that Bucky knew by the tone of the her voice. She turned around and took out the various vegetables putting them into the fridge. Bucky stayed silent whilst she did this, observing her. Shutting the fridge door, she turned sharply taking two steps forward. "Well?"

"It's not me." He said stiffly, his whole body tense. She glanced down at his hands to see them curled up into balls. She shuffled her right foot back slightly, preparing herself for worst case scenario. There was always a possibility he would attack her, she knew that - that's why she never let her guard down.

"First draw on the left - have a look." She told him, motioning to the draws next to him. That was where she placed a copy of his file. She watched him apprehensively open the draw and pick up the file, staring at the picture of him pinned to the front of it. "That **is **you - Go ahead and read it. It's your life."

He glanced up at her, before looking back down at the file. He could find out everything with one read through, but he knew fine well that would break him. Learning about his past, the war combined with the episodes he kept getting. He shook his head, placing the file back in the draw and slamming it shut. He was starting to wonder if this was what _she _wanted. To break him down, get him out of her way. He didn't trust her at all - everybody was a threat. He inhaled slowly, trying to calm the sudden rage which was boiling through him. "How is that going to help?" He slowly asked her, taking a step forward. "You honestly think... I can _handle _finding out everything just like that!" He shouted at her, his eyes wide in anger. A part of him knew it was irrational the way he was reacting, it wasn't him. But another part of him, wanted to attack her. Before he even knew what was happening, he swung his fist towards her and she ducked kicking him back with the sole of her boot. She reached down to her boot and pulled out a small switchblade, lunging forward and holding it steadily against his throat.

"Remember the ground rules?" She asked him shakily, taken aback by his sudden outburst. The look in his eyes had just completely changed.

Bucky swallowed, shaking his head slightly and glancing around him. He was aware of the sharp blade lightly pressing against his throat. He didn't even know what came over him, why he tried to attack her. "Even with that blade... I could easily beat you." He told her apologetically.

She exhaled loudly, stepping away from him and placing the blade on the counter top nearest to her. She crossed her arms looking at him. "No you can't." He shrugged in return, before dropping his arms by his side, the sudden realisation hitting him. He looked at Natasha, realising that he _had _seen her before.

"I can remember now where I've seen you before..." He said out loud, his eyes wide trying to place the exact location.

"We've been through this already - you shot me-"

"-Not them times... Years ago- Yes, I remember. You were younger and they were training me." He looked up at her, slightly smirking, showing her the first sign of positive emotion since they had been living together. "We fought - it was a friendly match, but I taught you some moves. How to defend yourself, use your senses... **Red Room... **It was the Red Room..."


	9. Chapter 9

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Here is the next chapter! Just saw the film again for the second time today, so my mind is buzzing :D **

**Thank you to all that reviewed, followed and added to favourites :)**

**Read, Review and Enjoy (Y)**

**CHAPTER NINE**

Natasha felt as if somebody had punched her, knocking all the wind out of her body. _Red Room... He just said that... _**That **wasn't specified on SHIELDs files which she leaked, there was no way anybody could have known. Natasha turned away from him, trying to remind herself to breathe. She looked down at her hands which were shaking slightly and mentally told herself to not be weak. She took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled, focusing on the sound of her heartbeat. She was there to _help _him and she didn't need any reminders of her past. She felt confused, she had only seen him twice before. Firstly, was five and a half years ago, when he shot through her to kill the engineer. Then, again with Steve when he shot through her shoulder - He seemed to be making a habit of shooting through her. That was it. Just those two times. _But then how could he know about the Red Room? Unless, there's more I don't remember. _She swallowed, feeling nauseous at the fact that there may be more unconscious memories which she needed to uncover of her own.

"Do you remember?" Bucky asked her, breaking her thought pattern. She could hear him taking the shopping out of the bag that he brought in and her fingers traced the handle of the switch blade on the counter top.

"There is** nothing **to remember." She icily told him through gritted teeth. She wanted to hurt him, just for making her feel that panic, the claustrophobia and making her remember all the things she had done because of that place. "We're going to forget about this conversation, I'm here to hel-"

"-How can you help me when there are missing links in _your _past?" He responded, his voice raised a little.

Natasha narrowed her eyes, her heartbeat thudding in her ears. She grabbed the handle of the blade and turned throwing it towards him. It sharply landed two centimetres to the left of his head and he glared at her, the atmosphere in the kitchen growing tense. "**Forget **it." She spat at him, walking away towards the living room. She sunk down into one of the sofas, leaning forward, both of her hands gripping either side of her head. By accepting her past, she choose not to relive it. Everything she needed to remember she had, there was no way that she had met him before - certainly not there. _But I don't even remember most of what happened..._

"Were you aiming for my head? Because you missed." Bucky said, sounding calmer. He sat down next to her as she straightened up, looking at him.

"If I was aiming for your head...there would be a knife between your eyes." She replied, forcing a slight smile on her face. She bit her bottom lip, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't remember." She admitted.

Bucky nodded. "I figured. The memory of it is very blurry...But it was definitely you - I'd recognise you anywhere. They brainwashed you in that room, didn't they?" He asked her, wanting to know more about what he remembered. All he _could _remember was fighting her briefly, almost training her. But there were others in there too, being dragged in and calmly walking out.

"Yes." She replied. "I was very young. New topic?" She challenged, wanting to move on from the conversation.

"You don't want to be here - helping."

She raised her eyebrows. "Whatever gave you that idea?" She dryly responded.

"I don't exactly want to be here either, I prefer to be alone." He told her, remembering how alone he has been for the past god-knows how many years. "Tell me something - what did they do to me after every mission? How come I don't remember?" He wanted to at least know that much. The foundation of _why _he can't remember the past, may make it easier _to _remember. At the museum, they portrayed him as a hero, someone that fought valiantly alongside _him - _Captain Steve Rogers. He felt heavy remembering what Steve had said to him on the destroyed Hellicarrier - _"I'm with you till the end of the line..."_ . He had heard that before, they had a bond. He couldn't remember how or why or anything, but he knew they had a bond. Even if he could remember everything and distinguish between Bucky and The Winter Soldier, would anybody trust him. Or would they view him as a cold killer no matter what. And what about Natasha? He was certain he couldn't trust her, but he **had **met her before. She was quick and smart, a worthy adversary.

"After every you took down the target they gave you they froze you - cryogenically." She told him, remembering what she had read on his file and the photo. She tried to imagine what she would be like if after every person she killed, they froze her. Only to awake her when the next target has been assigned. Empty. Lonely. It would be the only way **to **feel.

"That's why I'm here, despite being alive during the War." He said out loud, partly to himself. He had been made into HYDRAs puppet, they controlled what he did and remembered. "Did they wipe my memory?"

"Obviously. Hence the term: _Winter Soldier. _Ironic, really."

Bucky looked down at his left hand, flexing the fingers. That arm gave him incredible strength, but it took away some more of his humanity. "Say that you help me remember - What then?"

"I don't know."

"You don't have an answer to a question?" He asked her, surprised at her lack of response.

"I don't have an answer _yet. _You're very unpredictable." She told him, talking to the old Bucky, she felt safe. She wouldn't let her guard down, but she felt secure around him. He reminded of her of Steve - both men from another era, still carrying the same politeness. She noted that Steve had higher moral values than Bucky, but not the same amount of confidence or bluntness. _If he was like this all the time, we could actually get along. _

"So are you." He responded, motioning the knife going past his head. She chuckled lightly, resting her back against the sofa, feeling slightly more at ease. "What's the plan? How are you going to help me?"

"We start from the beginning and try not to kill each other in the process."


	10. Chapter 10

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Hope you all enjoy this next chapter. **

**Thank you to all that reviewed, followed and added to favourites :)**

**Read, Review and Enjoy (Y)**

**CHAPTER TEN**

Natasha flipped through the channels on the television, feeling rather angry. It has been two days since their last conversation and Bucky has done everything to avoid her. From walking out of the room when she was there to only giving her one worded responses. Just this morning, she told him she was going to go out for a walk and wouldn't be back till late. He just nodded and walked off. Obviously, she didn't go out. She just stayed in the living room, hearing only the back door shutting once. She sighed, tilting her head back and closing her eyes. She didn't want to play psychiatrist with him - she couldn't care less. _Or do I? _She wasn't even sure anymore. She thought she had exorcised all of her demons from her past, but evidently there was more locked away. He had told her that he knew her from _there... _The Red Room. Natasha frowned, trying to remember any part of him being there but she still couldn't remember it. She was just mentally going around in circles. Now, that she actually wanted to try and help him, he was avoiding her. Of course, it was denial or apprehension. A part of her was actually curious to learn about his past, in his own words. A file would only say so much, the truth is buried much deeper. She sat up straight hearing the front door open and Bucky walking into the living room, pausing when he saw her.

"Been for a swim?" She asked sarcastically, seeing him standing there in a pair of swimming trunks. He was still soaking and he looked behind him, his cheeks blushing slightly. Natasha's eyes glanced over to his left arm, seeing the scars on his shoulder from where they put in the metal arm.

"I forgot my towel and clothes." He responded, shivering slightly. He didn't expect to see her there at all, but then again circumstances made sure they lived together. Not seeing her was unavoidable. "Wait... You're supposed to be out." He said out loud, remembering what she had mentioned to him earlier this day.

"Yes, I walked out for a minute then walked back in. If you were paying attention you would have noticed." She responded, raising her eyebrows at him. "And would've saved yourself the embarrassment."

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her, feeling annoyed at the sarcastic manner she was talking to him in. "I'm not embarrassed."

"You're in swimming trunks." She pointed out, glancing down at his trunks then back at him.

Bucky straightened his posture, huffing lightly. "Then stop looking." He told her before walking out, towards the bedroom, to get dried and changed.

Natasha stayed looking at the spot where he was, surprised at his response to her. _Stop looking? Seriously? __**That's **__how he is going to reply? _She bitterly thought. She didn't even know why she was thinking what he said was offensive. She shook her head, turning back to the TV and watching the cartoon, with interest. She was immersed with what was going on the screen before she heard Bucky walking in, this time dressed slightly more appropriate.

Bucky cleared his throat, taking a seat next to her. "Let's do this." He announced, observing her to see what her response would be. He was undecided for the past two days. The temptation to find out the truth was overwhelming, but at the same time he was rather scared at what he could find out.

"48 hours later?"

"A little late notice, but never the less..." He apologetically said. "So, how is this going to happen?"

Natasha inhaled slowly, turning the volume down on the television, before shifting her body around so that she was facing him. "Okay. Usually with memory re-call there are two ways we can do this. Firstly, torture. Water boarding... starvation... By going crazy you open your mind to the deepest subconscious, it could reveal a lot."

Bucky blinked at her, not aware if she was being serious or not. "That's not the way we're doing this."

"It's the last resort. When there's a dead end."

He nodded. "Okay. Option number two?"

"Start from before you became the Winter Soldier... your earlier life." Natasha told him. She frowned slightly thinking about where she could start off from. "Your past relationships - tell me."

Bucky smiled slightly, trying to remember his foggy past. He knew he had a way with ladies, he was quite flirtatious. Bucky closed his eyes trying to remember where he was. There was a Howard Stark convention... And Steve. "After I officially became a Soldier... Me and-" Bucky swallowed, finding it difficult to say the name of the man who was both his foe and supposed friend. "-Steve, we, er, we were at this convention or something. I was trying to set him up with these ladies...but he was more interested in becoming a Soldier." He laughed suddenly, the very sound almost foreign to him. "He was tiny, really skinny..."

Natasha smiled slightly. "Before the super soldier serum. Apparently, you two were like brothers." She told him. Steve was the one who had told her that, whilst they were in Fury's hiding place. She could see in Steve's eyes, exactly how much Bucky had meant to him. It must have been hard though, she understood that. Having someone close to you die, only to find out that they have been alive all these years. The fact that Steve was going to find him, showed his commitment. Natasha wondered what his reaction would be if he found out that she was taking care of him.

Bucky swallowed, remembering those words Steve had said to him. "I'm with you... Till the end of the line..." He said to Natasha. "That's what he said to me on that Hellicarrier... and I can't... I can't remember when, but it was said before." He knew that he heard that sentence somewhere before, it literally tugged at his heartstrings, stirred up an unknown emotion within him.

"This is progress. Even the smallest facts are helping us scratch the surface." Natasha told him, interested in hearing more from him.

"I, er, heh... I was a flirt." He admitted, remembering how we would try to woo a woman by being the Gentlemen.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him, smirking slightly. "A flirt?" She repeated, hardly believing what he had just said.

"A polite flirt."

"Well, it seems you've lost that aspect." She replied.

Bucky glanced over at the moving pictures on the screen, before looking back at her. "Or maybe you just haven't been paying enough attention."


	11. Chapter 11

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Guess what? A new chapter! Thank you for your very kind and encouraging reviews and following the story/adding to favourites.**

**I have been updating quickly as I am really enjoying writing this, although there will be a slight delay in next chapter as I have quite long hours at work next couple of days. **

**I have drafted out at least another 14 chapters and I promise there will be twists and turns, cameo and of course, some romance.**

**So, do leave a review and I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

_"Or maybe you just haven't been paying enough attention." _Natasha repeated mentally. She laughed lightly, and focused her attention back on the television, feeling slightly awkward. She surprised herself at her reaction to his statement, if anyone else had said that, she would've just rolled her eyes and say something witty back. She needed to move the conversation in a different direction, start a new sub-topic because she was starting to worry that she might like the flirtatious banter between them. _This is strictly professional! _ "Okay, still the smooth talker." She replied finally, after a couple of minutes silence. She sighed heavily and looked back at him. "Do you remember when Steve Rogers became Captain America?"

"That's cloudy...I know it, but I can't remember the moment." He replied, noticing the sudden change in conversation direction. He didn't get her, she was all over the place. Half the time she was stoic and professional, but occasionally he noticed her being what he thought was herself.

"Not even slightly?" She asked him.

Bucky shook his head, sighing lightly as he tried to rack his brain for the moment. "No. I **do** remember him saying that he wants to fight, wants to help - He's a decent man." _The opposite of what they made me..._

Natasha tilted her head slightly, only now noticing the striking colour of his eyes. "So are you."

"I've got too much blood on my hands to agree." He defiantly replied to her, swallowing at the thought of everybody that died at his hand.

"That wasn't your choice." She reminded him, wishing he would see it from her perspective. That _he _wasn't what killed people, but it was _what _they made him.

"Does it make a difference?" He angrily replied, his voice starting to rise slightly.

"A **massive** difference." She firmly told him. " I've got a lot of blood on my hands but I'm doing good now."

Bucky raised his eyebrows at her, surprised at how simple she made it sound. It could never be as simple as every good deed balances out the murders. "By helping me? That's going to erase the past?"

She shrugged her shoulders, she didn't want it to be over complicated - it was at straightforward as it sounded. "It counter acts against the bad stuff I've done."

Bucky squinted his eyes at her, remembering their prior conversation a few days ago. "I thought you accepted the past, if you did you wouldn't be so desperate to do as much good."

"In case you've forgotten, this is about you." She pointedly said, beginning to get annoyed at his prodding. She didn't want that spotlight, she was as exposed as could be. "So stop bringing me into this."

Bucky raised his eyebrows at her, adjusting himself on the sofa to get more comfortable. "You're already into this."

"Surely we can go for five minutes without disagreeing?" She dryly asked, trying not to smirk.

"You can try" He shortly replied, noticing that her attention was back on the television. He hated to admit it, but being here was much better than being on the streets, looking for a place to hide or being at HYDRA. He felt oddly...protective of Natasha, but he guessed that the memory of the Red Room must have something to do with that. He ran his hand through his hair, still trying to get used to the shorter length of it. _I look like Bucky. The James Barnes... _He glanced back over at Natasha and cleared his throat. "What about your past relationships?"

Natasha did a double take, unsure if she was hearing things correctly. A civilized conversation is quite different from guns. "Excuse me?"

"You asked me, I'm curious about you."

"Why?" She slowly asked him, wondering what made him ask her that.

"Just curious."

Natasha smirked at him, noticing that in his eyes he seemed alive, present. "Is the infamous Barnes flirting with me?"

"You'd know if I was flirting with you-"

"-How?" She interrupted, wanting to hear what he would say next. As unprofessional as it may have seemed, she like the banter between the two of them. It was natural.

"Cause you'll change the subject." He replied, pointing at her, a grin on his face.

Natasha smiled back at him, chuckling at his reply. "Well played. And to answer your question... Somehow, Long term relationships don't work for me. Any relationship I've had...it's been built on lies." She told him. It was the truth but it was the only way she could protect herself.

"Surely there's at some people you're being honest with."

"Not many."

"Am I one of them?" He asked her. He knew most of what she told him was the truth, but it was the trust that was absent.

"Possibly." She replied to him. _Yes, You are. _

"I survived that fall on the train, because they kidnapped me, right?" The memory of him laying on a table, needles in his arms replayed in his head. He knew it was during the war, but he guessed that moment then, must have been what changed everything.

Natasha nodded, the text on his file vague on the exact details. All they knew was that he was kidnapped, they didn't know what exactly went on apart from that it was experiements. "They experimented on you."

"What experiments?" He pushed, wanting to know more. That moment was pivotal to him, he needed to know everything he could about it.

"I don't know, I wasn't born yet." She dryly replied, bringing her legs up to the sofa and moving the cushion behind her. "That's why you need to try and access the subconscious. Do you remember after you fell?"

"Well, it was responsible for.." He said, pointing at his left arm. "whatever this is."

Natasha eyed his arm, knowing that was something he would have to live with for the rest of his life. "A metal arm. They wiped your memory but that doesn't mean it's gone." She told him, wanting to give him some hope. However deep the truth was locked away, she was determined to help him remember. She at least owed it to Rogers.

Bucky glanced over towards the kitchen, the temptation to read his file overpowering. "Natasha... That file in the kitchen - Is that **all** the information?"

"Everything that has been documented... No doubt there are gaps...That only you can fill, but you're not alone with that." She told him.

"Don't you get lonely?" He asked her.

"Nope."

"Seriously? You don't get close to anybody, you can count the people you trust on one hand... I'm lonely. I..." He stopped, inhaling sharply, his heart feeling heavy. He didn't even know why he was emptying his feelings out to her.

"You can say what's your mind, I don't judge." She encouraged, looking at him intently for him to carry on speaking.

"For all these years they made me an empty vessel: They say jump and I jump. No friends, No family, No girlfriends... And now that I am getting to grips with **who** I am, the real me - I find out that my best friend, who I vaguely remember, hasn't given up on me, the woman I tried to kill twice is helping me and the man that I killed, or so I thought, is giving me a second chance. They made me a monster and people still have faith in me." He looked down wondering why the hell they haven't just killed him, but they _do _have faith in him.

"And that give you the strength to go on." Natasha said, finishing his sentence. Bucky just nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. Natasha smiled lightly at him, feeling quite sorry for him. She bit her lip unsure of whether she should or not, but just decided to go with her instinct. She reached her hand out to his and wrapped her fingers around his hand. Bucky looked up at her, his eyes watering. He squeezed her hand lightly, before nodding at her. He didn't need to say anything else, he was thanking her and a part of her felt like she needed to thank him...


	12. Chapter 12

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Sorry for the delay, I have been very busy with work - done a lot of early shifts :'( **

**Btw, has anybody yet seen the new Spiderman Film? It really is great and better than the first (Y)**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter - and do leave a review, everything said in reviews I do take into account and any suggestions, I'll try and fit them into the story.**

**Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

Natasha shut the door behind her quietly, mentally thanking Bucky for deciding to go out for a run. She hadn't felt awkward around him, but unsure. Friend isn't a word that she often used, yet there was something there - _You don't hold hands with an acquaintance... _She concluded. It had been two days since that incident and she knew she had to update Fury on what has happened so far. Since he opened up to her about how used and lonely he felt, things have been slightly better between the two of them. The past two days have consisted of waking up, making breakfast, sitting down together and briefly going through his past. She kept trying to prompt him on what had happened when he got kidnapped, but it was just a blank page for him. Although, what had happened last night made her even more confused. The day was going as normal: eat, talk and exercise. After they had dinner, he decided to have an early night and hugged her before going off. She frowned, feeling herself smile at the memory. She would be lying if she was going to deny that she enjoyed his company. Natasha sighed out loud, pulling her bed out to the side and put her hand in the very small hole which she had cut on the base. She felt the phone and pulled it out, holding down the on switch. Fury had gave her that phone, along with the keys to the safe house, for emergencies. Of course, by emergency it now meant status updates on Bucky's progress. She clicked on the re-dial button, with one number only being on there and impatiently listened to the ringing tone, before Fury answered the phone.

"Fury." She said coldly. She owed him a lot - she knew that, but she felt he could've at least let her know about Bucky, rather than Clint showing up on her door step.

"Romanoff." He replied, in the same tone, almost mockingly. "Status update?"

"He's making progress, Sir." She replied, picking up a t-shirt to get changed into. "Starting to distinguish between the Winter Soldier and Himself, remembering quite a bit - He's angry at HYDRA."

"So am I." He said back to her. She heard him sigh slightly on the other end. "Anything about when he was kidnapped or the transition?"

"No." She told him, shaking her head. "But we'll get there, eventually."

"You so realise there are other options to make him remember." He said stoically, hinting at the torture techniques.

Natasha sat down on the bed, frowning. Any other time, any other person and she would have already done that. But for some reason, she wanted to hold that off for as long as possible. _Maybe he is a friend... _"That's a last resort."

"Is this not a last resort scenario?" He challenged Natasha.

"Give me time - I can help him. We just need some more time."

"Right now, You have all the time in the world." He told her, lighting the mood slightly. She knew that was true, she still couldn't put it on a news channel without her or the Winter Soldier being featured. Natasha despised those people that made her life into a story, they are happy enough for her to help save them.

"Say he remembers - then what? You want him to be an ally?" The idea, itself, wasn't so bad to her. She could get used to him being around for longer - he certainly had the skills.

"Do _you _think he could be useful?"

Natasha looked around the room, considering the question. If Bucky could no longer be confused and remember who he really is, he could be useful. It was her job to help him and in return he could help many people. "Yes." She huskily replied. "If he can remember who he is and has no more episodes, he could be very useful. He's strong, smart, fast and he has morals."

"You sound like you admire him..." Fury replied, an unknown emotion laced in his voice.

Natasha inhaled sharply. The one person that she could trust with her life was Fury, no doubt about that. He knew everything about her past and he supported her when she had her episodes. "Apparently... he trained me in the red room." She told him, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The connection between the two of them was quite strong, there was a past - even if she couldn't remember.

There was a moments silence on the other end, all she could hear was Fury breathing lightly. "He said that?" He asked her in a serious tone, knowing how much she was haunted by the red room.

"Yes."

"Do you remember?" He asked her.

Natasha swallowed, feeling like she was betraying herself with not being able to remember. "No... I don't."

"But there's a connection." Fury replied. It wasn't a question, he was telling her what she was unable to admit, what she knew was true.

Natasha stood up, slowly walking around her bedroom. "That isn't really necces-"

"Is there or is there not a connection?" He firmly asked her. _Yes _is what she wanted to say, but that made her weak, too trusting. She knew she was as screwed up in the head as anybody could be. But so was Bucky. He knew how she felt.

Natasha shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know." She sighed, hating saying that phrase. She knew most things, everything else she didn't know she would pretend to.

She heard a can open in the background and Fury taking a gulp. "You don't know cause you don't like getting close to people." He told her. "I'm here to look out for you - You're like a daughter to me."

Natasha smiled, he was like family. He knew her too well and what he said was true. She sighed loudly. "I don't know _what _it is." She admitted.

"Do you _like _him?" He asked her, emphasising on the like. She knew fine well what he meant and she instantly shook her head, before frowning.

"Seriously, that's what you're going with?"

"Well do you-"

"-He's not exactly ugly now, is he?" She exclaimed, wanting to just change the subject and move on from this.

"I ain't commenting." He jokingly told her, before changing his tone back to professional. "Look, just keep up with helping him. It's a possibility to bring in Steve, _if _he makes progress. I'll see what I can do - staying dead is harder than it looks."

"So is finding a new cover. Especially, when I'm still learning about the old one." She replied, glancing at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't recognise herself. _How can I know who I am, If I can't remember my own past?_

"Barnes is the only person you can associate with - the fear, the pain - He knows what it's like." He reassuringly told her, Natasha scoffed in response. "I'm retired... I'm only getting involved because of you. Got it?"

"Loud and clear." She replied, feeling happy that she had spoken with him. Hearing another person's voice, especially somebody who she was close with, reassured her greatly. "Take care." She concluded.

"You too - And follow your instincts, Natasha." He told her, before hanging up.

Natasha tilted her head back, closing her eyes, Fury's words echoing through her head. She knew he was right, he always was, but Natasha was full of self denial. She huffed slightly, before taking off her vest top. She went to put on the t-shirt when her door swung open. She glanced over to see Bucky standing there, a knowing look in his eyes. He looked at her, before glancing down at the scar on her hip.

"Is that..." He begun to say, before looking back up at her. Natasha nodded, quickly putting on her t-shirt. She folded her arms and looked at him, aware of the fact that he had most likely overheard her entire conversation. He looked down at the phone before raising his eyebrows at her.

"That was a quick run." She dryly commented, feeling slightly angry at him eavesdropping on her.

"I came back for my water." He replied coldly, shaking the bottle in his hand. His hair was messy and he carried on looking at her intensely.

"Enjoyed listening to my conversation?" She asked him sarcastically, flipping the phone in her hand.

Bucky took a step forward. "You've got some explaining to do..."


	13. Chapter 13

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

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**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Natasha pursued her lips, raising an eyebrow at him. She intended for the phone call to be private, not because she was hiding it from Bucky, but because she wanted it to be private. She didn't know whether to be impressed at him eavesdropping or annoyed. "I'm all ears." She told him, as he took a step forward, glancing around her room.

"You have a phone?" He asked her, his eyes glancing down at the mobile in her hands, a mixture of curiosity and anger in his eyes. He didn't want to be another subject, with updates on how he is doing, what missions he have achieved. Bucky blinked several times, trying to push the thought out f his head. _Keep yourself under control... I am James Barnes. _

"It's the 21st century, Barnes - Everybody has a phone." She smartly replied, lightly throwing the phone onto the bed.

"Everybody doesn't update their progress, Romanoff." He replied, in the same tone. He thought he could trust her, he still does, but he didn't want this to be how it looked.

Natasha smirked lightly, finding his reply slightly amusing. Here it was again, the back and forth. She said one thing, he would answer as much back to her. "I don't have to answer to you." She said, walking forwards to go out of the room.

He swiftly grabbed a hold of her upper arm lightly, stopping her in her tracks. She looked up at him and gave him a warning look. "Yes...You do. All I want is the truth." He told her earnestly.

Natasha sighed before looking down at her arm, indicating him to let go. He did so and waited for her to speak. "You need to try and remember-" She begun to say, before he started shaking his head, looking at her as if she was crazy.

"I am trying!" He shouted, the frustration clearly getting to him. Natasha adjusted her stance, physically preparing herself in case he switched. She watched him walk over to her bed and sit down, both of his hands by his head. He spent a few seconds like this, although it seemed like an eternity with the atmosphere. Finally, he looked back up at her. "_You _don't even remember about us in the Red Room..."

Natasha breathed in slowly, the temptation to punch him coming back again. He didn't need to bring that up, she was talking about him, the conversation was about him. "Us in the Red Room?" She repeated in disbelief. "I have remembered... everything that I need to."

"And I am trying to." He replied sourly. "If you want to torture me, get faster results - go ahead." He challenged her. It seemed like the only way to fill in the gaps in his memory - either that or read his file. _Don't read the file... You'll find out what I did-he did- __**They **__made me do..._

Natasha swallowed, hoping he hadn't overheard _that _part of her conversation. She trusted him, there was a connection - but she didn't know, or can't remember why. She didn't want to torture him, by all means, it gets results, but she couldn't do that to him. He had been tortured, brainwashed and used like a puppet for the past 50 years - after all he had been through, she just could not consider it an option. _That's thinking like I'm weak... _She didn't want him to know she has ruled out that option. "I will do that, If I need to." She stoically told him.

Bucky shrugged his shoulders in response. "Then do it - I won't stop you."

"It's a last resort option." She coldly replied, wishing he would just move on to another part of her conversation.

"I heard." He told her knowingly. "So, If I can remember... And know who I really am - you think I could be an ally?" He questioned her, the thought of it beyond belief. He wanted to know how she could think he could be an Ally. She knew what he had done, who he had killed. He saw her scar earlier, a constant reminder that she has to live with every day.

Natasha walked over towards him, taking a seat in the chair opposite the bed. "You can help a lot of people."

"I **killed **a lot of people."

Natasha saw the pain in his eyes and recognised it too clearly. She knew that look, the look of being responsible for something which was out of your own hands. "Everybody has skeletons in their closet." She told him, knowing that fact was all too true.

Bucky just nodded before a smirk came on his face, Natasha inhaled sharply, knowing fine well what he was thinking. "You, er, don't think I'm ugly?" He asked her, clearly trying to stifle a laugh. He knew that made her feel awkward.

"You know you're far from that." She replied, with a straight face. She knew that as well, he was an attractive person, she would be stupid not to agree with that fact. It didn't mean she _fancied _him like Fury was hinting, but he was attractive nonetheless.

"That's what you think?"

"You eavesdropped - you know the answer to that." She swiftly replied, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"You really do have an answer to everything." Natasha just shrugged her shoulders in reply, standing up and straightening out her t-shirt. Bucky's eyes glanced down to her hip. "You must hate me for that." He said, standing up.

Natasha looked at him, her eyes filled with a hint of concern. "I hate HYDRA more...for what they made you do. Don't forget that." Bucky nodded once, looking around her room. It was simplistic, organised and no doubt some weapons were well concealed. "If you need to use the phone, help yourself."

His eyes widened in surprise at what she had said. "You trust me..."

"Trust isn't in my nature - I don't make a habit of it." She told him, noticing he was still in his vest top and shorts. "You still going for a run or did you want to watch a movie? Catch up on the 21st Century..."

"I think you know the answer to that - don't you always?"


	14. Chapter 14

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

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**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

Natasha stretched her legs out on the sofa, glancing at Bucky who was sitting on the one to the right side of her. She tossed him the remote control which he caught instantly. "Anything but the news." She told him, a light smile on her face.

"Why not? That would get me up to date." He questioned, noticing how laid back she seemed. Not on guard, for once he had observed how she wasn't on guard, ready to attack. She really did trust him.

"On the crimes we've committed and how we should pay for them." She replied, in a tone that suggested she couldn't care less. The newscasters and naysayers drove her crazy with their pointless antics about whether she should be sent to jail for everything she has done, yet they had no problem when she was saving their world alongside the other, and she hated the word so much, superheroes.

Bucky raised his eyebrows at her, surprised at her reaction. "That bad?" He asked, dread filling the pit of his stomach. He wondered if he were to put on the news would that reveal the missing gaps. _It's best I remember it, naturally..._

"Uh Huh." She replied, taking a sip out of her bottle of water. She noticed him watching her when she wiped her mouth and placed her bottle at the back of the sofa. She rolled over to her front, so that she could talk to him whilst looking at him. "So, you were _really _a flirt?" She asked him, the idea of it seemingly funny to her. She first encountered him - to her known knowledge- when he shot through her and then tried to kill her. It was hard picturing The Winter Soldier as a ladies' man, but if that who the real Bucky was then so be it.

Bucky blinked several times, at Natasha's refusal to believe that fact. "Why is that so hard for you to believe? It's one the main things I remember."

"Mr. Barnes being charismatic with the ladies." She huskily replied, raising one eyebrow at him.

"You know it." He replied, chuckling lightly at her response.

Natasha looked at the TV watching the people on there, play make believe with the guns. Simplistic life. _Was I just flirting with him? _She wondered, a smirk tugging on the corners of her lips. _Teasing...Just playing about. _"Okay." She said, clearing her throat and taking her attention away from the television. "Do you remember anything _as _the Winter Soldier?" She asked him slowly. She knew it was risky asking him this question, but if he could remember something then, it might help him to remember **how **he became that person.

Bucky inhaled sharply, those words hitting him hard. "You mean any of the people I've killed?" He asked her, dreading to know himself. He knew he had to find out sometime, he just didn't want to know how many.

"No. I meant - when they wiped your memories or if at any time, you were close to remembering _who you really are."_ She reilliterated.

Bucky shook his head, frowning. "I can't remem... Wait..." He muttered, closing his eyes. He could see himself sitting there, surrounded by a number of people. It wasn't a chair, it was some sort of machinery... He gasped out loud, remembering that this was after the fight on the highway, after he shot Natasha in the shoulder and Steve recognised him. The man that walked in was blurry and he could see himself telling him that He Knew Him, but the man didn't care. He couldn't hear what the man was saying, but regrettably he leaned back preparing for another memory wipe...

"What is it?" Natasha asked lightly, disturbing him from his thoughts. It was best to distract him before he got too deep into the memory, only then there would be a chance that he would forget everything and the inevitable would happen.

Bucky opened his eyes, breathing slightly heavy. He scanned his eyes around the room, before taking a deep breath and looking at Natasha. "After that time on the highway, the fight with you and Steve... I ended up somewhere and I told them that 'I knew him.'. Steve recognised me when he pulled off the mask. They wiped my memory, **again, **made me more aggressive and programmed me to kill Steve." He explained to her, a hint of malice in his voice. He flexed his hand into a fist and back again. _How many times did they do that? _He wondered sadly. It was 50 years of his life, stolen from him.

"But you saved him." Natasha pointed out, referring to Bucky saving him when he fell from the Hellicarrier.

Bucky smiled lightly, hoping that sometime in the future, he would get to see Steve. Explain everything and apologise. "Cause he was with me till the end of the line." He said quietly, a faint smile growing.

Natasha nodded at him, impressed at how he was picking up these memories, starting to make sense of who really is the enemy. "This is progress, Barnes..." She told him, smiling at him, she gave him a once over, trying to make it look casual. "Impressive."

_Did she just check me out? _He wondered, noting her eye movements on him. Bucky grinned, tilting his head to the side. "What do you find impressive?" He innocently asked.

"You remembering these various memories... It's like pieces of a puzzle." She told him.

"Is that all... You find impressive?" He suggestively asked, trying to keep a straight face. He didn't know what it was about her, but he felt at ease. She was easy to get along with, she understood him.

"And there he is - smooth talker." She said loudly, as if she was announcing it to an audience.

"Isn't it time for you to change the subject?" He teased, noting her behavioural habits the last time he flirted with her.

"Wouldn't you disagree?" She responded, in the same tone he used with her.

"You know the answer to that." He replied, a grin on his face.

Natasha chuckled, rolling over to her side and adjusting the pillow on her head. "You really are something else... You're not actually bad company to have around." She told him, the smile on her face growing even more.

"Neither are you." He replied, taking one last look at her, before turning over to watch the TV.

Natasha could feel the heat on her cheeks and frowned wondering why he was making her blush. Of course, he was a good looking man. But that was all, there were lines that were never to be crossed in this business. _This isn't a business though, this is life... _She objected. She wondered that if she was to take it further, and get away with it - would she? _Not a question to consider. There are lines to be drawn... _ Natasha closed her eyes, feeling the sensation of sleepiness take over, the last thing going through her mind was that of their previous conversation...

Bucky sat up as the credits started to roll on the TV, he was surprised at how good Die Hard turned out to be, though wondered why the Main character wouldn't just steal shoes off the guys he killed. He glanced over at Natasha, who still hadn't moved from her position.

"I'm going to get a water." He told her, picking up his empty bottle. Standing up, he walked over to her to see her sleeping, her breathing calm. He smiled lightly and walked quietly past her, not wanting to disturb her. He chucked the empty bottle into the bin and opened the fridge grabbing a new one, noticing that they were starting to run low on food, meaning another trip would be on the cards soon enough. It was simple enough for him to go out, even, all he needed to do was wear glasses, walk slowly and act like he was like everybody else. Natasha seemed to have a lot of tips on staying unnoticed. He took a gulp of his drink, his eyes wondering to the top drawer to the left of him. _The file... _Bucky placed the water down on the counter and looked back out at where Natasha was sleeping, she had told him he could look at it, anytime he wanted. He could see, for himself, everything. Bucky closed his eyes, trying to reason why he should and why he should not read the file, but he already knew the answer. He knew what he wanted to do and there was no going back, no changing his mind...


	15. Chapter 15

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

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**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

Bucky took a deep breath in, suddenly feeling very stuffy in the otherwise cool kitchen. His hand was on the drawer handle - one pull and all would be discovered. He wanted to see the file, his life - _the truth. _The temptation was too much and most of all, it was **his **choice. No one telling him he has to or doesn't have to read the file.

"No more games." He whispered out loud, opening the draw and pulling out the file. It was considerably heavy, an instant bad sign. There was fifty years of history within these pages and that was only what they could track down. He opened the cover and exhaled shakily, seeing a picture of him cryogenically frozen. That was how they made him forget and not age, they took his memory and froze him.

Bucky slid down to the floor, clutching the file with both hands and apprehensively opened a random page, wanting to firstly glance through the whole thing. The first picture he came upon, was a police evidence photo from a crime scene. A crime which he committed. It was somebody's house and the room pictures was the kitchen. There was a table, with the food prepared still there and sitting on the chairs was two male adults and a teenage boy - all with gunshot wounds to the head, leaving a bloody mass of gore and brain matter all over the food. Bucky gasped, clinching his eyes shut. This was just _one _photo out of the many. One mission. Apprehensively, he opened his eyes and flicked through to another part of the file, opening it up on a report. He scanned the text, catching the words _ruthless, massacre _and _Winter Soldier. _This was the truth: those words, the photographs. No matter how much Natasha would try, he would still be this monster. Bucky traced past a couple of pages, with a shaky finger and opened the page nearer the back to see yet another photograph, of a young woman, a knife wound to her heart. She was young and he had killed her, he was ordered to and he did it. Bucky gritted his teeth, opening up another page to see the text: _Agent Romanoff reported the assailant to have shot through her left hip in order to assassinate the target. No traces have been found yet, of said shooter, apart from rumours of his identity being that of the Winter Soldier. _

"Get out of my head!" He whispered angrily, sliding the file away from him and clutching his head in both hands, his eyes filled with tears from the pain and anger which he felt. A few pictures and he was losing grip with reality. _Who am I? _He desperately thought. He was certain he was making progress, that perhaps he was this smooth talker, loyal soldier that could be an ally. It was all lies. That file - those people, are who he really was. _They made me that way... I am that way... Who am I? __**Who **__am I? _He erratically thought, the tears spilling from his eyes, the pictures of the bodies clearly seen in his thoughts. _Get out of my head... I'm not the Winter Soldier - It's who I am...I'm not... But I killed them people, They were my mission, they don't deserve sympathy!_

"James Barnes..." He whispered breathlessly, a migraine forming at the corners of his forehead. "James Barnes... Get out of my head... I know who I am." He squeezed his eyes shut even tighter and suddenly saw himself in the Red Room. Natasha was there, but much younger. She tried to roundhouse kick him but he swiftly blocked it and knocked her to the floor. She sprung back up and re took her fighting stance, motioning for him to try again. "Stop... Stop." Bucky gasped, opening his eyes and looking at the first thing which caught his eyes - the gun, taped underneath the table. He needed to get those images out of his head, he didn't know who he was and he needed to end it...

* * *

_"Are you having any more episodes?" Fury asked, sitting opposite the desk. Natasha straightened her posture and shook her head. "Not even about the Red Room?"_

_Natasha opened her mouth to speak but was quickly knocked down, she swiftly shuffled forwards and turned around, gaining balance on both of her feet. The Red Room. She glance behind her and Fury was gone. She turned back around to see Loki standing before her, a glass cage separating the both of them. _

_"Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Drakov's daughter, Sao Paulo, the hospital fire?" He spat at her, his face twisting in menace. _

_Natasha ran towards him ready to attack, before the ground started shaking and she fell over rolling down, until she bumped into somebody's feet. She looked up to see Clint and he gave her his hand, helping her up._

_"What you doing here?" She muttered, smiling lightly at him, the both of them on a field. She glanced up at the sky, to see the sun shining bright._

_"Do you want him?" He asked her quietly. She looked back at him, confused at what he had just said. "You do. You don't want relationships, you want physical contact... sexual pleasure. The typical life of a spy. You want-"_

_"-Me." Bucky's voice said from behind her._

Natasha's eyes widened, her heart beating rapidly. She rolled over to her back, sighing heavily at the dream she just had. Nothing out of the ordinary, she was always haunted in her dreams by her past and those closest to her. She rolled her head back slightly, stretching her neck and sat up, glancing at the clock on the wall. She had been asleep for nearly three hours. She turned towards Bucky to see that he wasn't on the sofa. Frowning, she stood up, an uneasy feeling forming in the put of her stomach. If there was one thing she took pride in, it was that she always follows her instincts. They never let her down and right now, they were practically warning her that something wasn't right. She heard a soft tap from behind her and she turned around, fists raised to see nobody there. The noise came from the kitchen. She brushed her hair behind her ears and walked slowly towards the kitchen. She peeked her head around the corner and felt the blood run from her face and her hands start shaking. She saw the file on the floor and instantly knew she was to blame, she led him to this. A mixture of adrenaline and dread flooded her suddenly, and her eyes went wide in fear for what he was about to do. She shook her head, speechlessly, as she looked at Bucky's tear stained face, his finger on the trigger, gun raised to his temple...


	16. Chapter 16

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

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**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

Natasha took a deep breath in, trying to calm down the sudden bout of anxiety which hit her. One of them was already panicking - both of them panicking would be suicide. She needed to choose her words carefully, telling him to calm down would only aggravate him more. His eyes were clenched shut and his hand which held the gun, was shaking. She didn't know if he knew she was there, but it was a safe bet that he did. Natasha didn't know how much of the file he had read or saw, but whatever it was, clearly hit him hard.

"You have an inkling of who you are - If not, you would have shot yourself already." She said out loud, her nails digging into the palm of her hand. She exhaled as he opened his eyes looking up at her, the tears still glistening on his cheeks.

"That's...what you're going with." He replied hoarsely, surprised at what she had said. He glanced down at the floor, feeling quite dizzy and disorientated, before realising that he was still holding the gun up to his head.

"What did you expect?" She asked him, taking a step forward slowly, to not startle him too much.

Bucky shrugged his shoulders lightly, his migraine still pounding on either sides of his forehead. "Not you." He admitted, feeling a mixture of surprise and happiness that she was there.

"I make that impression on a lot of people..." Natasha told him, slowly lowering herself to his level and moving over till she was next to him. She reached out to take the gun from his hand. His fingers clenched tightly around it at first and she raised her eyebrows at him, silently warning him to loosen up. He sighed heavily before, handing the gun over to her. Natasha stretched her arm up and placed it on the counter top, looking back at Bucky. He had that confused, empty look in his eyes again. She watched as Bucky wiped the tears away from his face, before glancing over at the file on the floor, his whole body tensing up as he did. Natasha swallowed and took his hand lightly, squeezing her fingers around it to show her support, he did the same to her.

"I lost sense of everything." He whispered, the images from the photographs still flashing through his mind. "The blood... And that was just a small percentage of all of them."

Natasha swallowed, hearing how genuinely disturbed he sounded. She felt sympathetic towards him and that was an emotion which she rarely used. "There's a big difference between remembering what you've done and seeing photographical evidence of it." She told him, not wanting to sound too patronising but still wanting her words to get through to him. He had made a lot of progress, he was living as a person and it was too much for him to break down and loose all of that. "The photographs force you to believe it, at least with memories you can doubt all you want."

Bucky shook his head, gripping her hand slightly tighter. Everything she said made sense, but there was the constant inner turmoil which he felt, the guilt and the regret. "That stuff and them people... What they made do." He muttered, more to himself than to Natasha.

"They were the missions, the targets. What HYDRA made you do."

Bucky tilted his head back, trying to steady his breathing which was quickly becoming rapid. "I have to live with that." He told her solemnly.

Natasha huffed at him, causing him to turn his head to look at her. "You already did - Over and over and over again. They wipe your memory, then you kill again -It was hell and you had _no _choice."

Bucky frowned lightly, staring at with her with intensity. "You really do know what it's like."

Natasha shrugged her shoulders, it wasn't a big deal. "Google it - it's all there, I put it there myself."

"You revealed everything?" He asked, in slight disbelief. He couldn't possibly imagine, having to reveal to the world what he did - _What they made me do! They made me do everything, I was a vessel. _

"Whilst you were trying to kill Steve on the Hellicarrier, I leaked all of SHIELDs secrets - HYDRA was taking over... And it wasn't _everything._" She told him, referring to the events that happened with Pierce. Was she doubtful about revealing her bloody past? Of course, but it was for the greater good. Then again, it was the course of action that led her to hide out in the cabin. Then in came Bucky...

There was a moments silence, whilst Bucky recalled what she had just said. Whilst he was fighting Steve... And then saved his life. He knew, deep down, and he couldn't ignore it. "I'm just loosing grip with everything, so quickly."

"It's a shock to your system."

"You could say that again." He muttered, his eyes glancing over at the file again. The temptation to read it had been greatly decreased.

Natasha pursued her lips at his response. "It's a shock to your system." She repeated, earning a slight, barely there smile from him. "Tell me, or don't...But tell me - why the gun?"

"I... wasn't sure... I was thinking they made me do this but instantly there was this horrible, cold, evil feeling saying that they were a mission - heartless. I should be dead by now, if they let me live my life. I'd be better off." He explained, feeling a pang in his heart when he said he would be better off dead. He didn't know if he would have shot himself, but it seemed like the easiest way out, rather than having to live with finding out the past.

Natasha inhaled sharply, feeling strangely uneasy hearing Bucky talking like this. "You wouldn't get to patch things up with Steve." She suggested, hoping that would make him feel slightly more optimistic.

Bucky shook his head, images of each punch flashing before him. "I don't think I could face him."

"He didn't give up on you. Anyone else would have, but he didn't." She said in an encouraging tone. It was true, no matter how evil he may have been, Steve knew his best friend was there somewhere. The loyalty was out of this world.

Bucky bit his lip slightly, hesitant to ask the question. "Do you know how he is?" He slowly asked her.

"Apart from looking for you - He's fine, settling into this new era." She replied, remembering the list that Steve was making - a few of the suggestions, which she had contributed towards. "Although, he is hesitant to date people, you wouldn't believe the amount of people I've tried suggesting." She jokingly added.

Bucky grinned slightly, knowing that Steve was the sort of person who would be a Gentlemen towards woman. "No luck so far?"

"Well, there is one woman, Sharon. She's a nice girl and he just needs to ask her out, before I do it for him." If Natasha wasn't having to hide out in the safe house, she would most likely have set them up. She liked Steve, one of the few people she could call a friend, but he seemed very lonely.

"Just speaking as a question, no personal input - If I asked you on a date, what would you say?" Bucky hesitantly asked, wanting to lighten the mood. Again, the effect she had on him, the ability to put him at ease.

Natasha smiled at him, a hint of mischief in her eyes. "I should say no - But I wouldn't."

"Thought so." He replied, raising his eyebrows at her, his hand still entwined with hers.

Natasha looked down at their hands, feeling at ease. She wondered what Nick would say if he saw them right now, the very thought of it, cause her to smile even wider. "Of course you did." She dryly replied, she leaned over and hugged him, his left arm settling over her shoulders. The metal from it, gave her shivers. "It's going to be hard to cope with this, but _James Barnes _didn't hurt them people - It may have been your body, but it wasn't your choice."

Bucky made a sound of agreement before removing his arm from her and turning his face so that it was virtually in front of her. His nose slightly brushed the tip of hers and she parted her lips slightly, breathing through her mouth. "Do you trust me?" He whispered.

Natasha inhaled softly, his mucky scent filling her nostrils. He was too close, but she welcomed it. It was finally time for the both of them to do what they wanted to do, not what others wanted for them. She could feel his breath on her lips and the moment felt too long. "Perhaps... Do you trust me?" She huskily replied.

"Maybe." He replied shortly, his eyes darting down to her lips.

Natasha swallowed. "That's good..." She glanced down at his lips, the temptation becoming too much. _But it won't help his recovery... _"But this-"

"-Isn't." He finished her sentence, shuffling over to the side and moving his face away from her. "I got carried away." He told her, no hint of apology in his voice.

"So did I." She cautiously replied, looking at him.

"Your my friend and that's, er, great. It really is." He told her, standing up. He turned around to look at the gun and shook his head, glad that he didn't go ahead with that decision.

"It's fantastic." She replied dryly, becoming fully aware of the awkward atmosphere created. She cleared her throat standing up and picking up the file. She held it up to him "Once again, this is yours... just be careful, next time."

"I'm going to bed." Bucky said quietly, his eyes heavy from a mixture of emotion and tiredness. He smiled at Natasha before walking past her to go to his room.

Natasha sighed, placing the file next to the gun and leaning against the counter, looking at where he just walked past. "Good Night, Bucky."


	17. Chapter 17

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Thanks once again for the follows, favourites and reviews :)**

**So, in this chapter, there is a twist and it is very dark. I'm trying to keep this realistic with the characters and most obviously, it wouldn't be so easy for them.**

**Do let me know what you think of this chapter, As I originally planned it quite differently.**

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**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

Natasha watched as the kettle boiled, chewing absent mindedly on the cereal she made. She felt as if she had made a mistake, she let her guard down. The events of the previous night were playing through her mind on repeat and every time, all she could think was what a mistake she made. She allowed herself to get close to him and he could snap at any minute. She forgot that. She knew the power she could have over men and sometimes she allowed herself to get carried away, she was broken of course but she felt like she was trying to mess Bucky up even more. She frowned, lost in her thoughts, wondering what the hell was wrong with her...

_**TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO...**_

_"You kind of lost it out there..." Clint laughed, wrapping a bandage around his freshly cleaned wound. "Budapest is getting to you." He added, looking up at Natasha. She sat there, silently looking back at him. Their mission had gone sour and they ended up using all of their ammo on their targets: A drug lord who seemed to think he was god. Nothing out of the ordinary._

_"You got hit." She coldly replied, eyeing the bandage on his arm, where he had got shot. As soon as the bullet hit his arm, she went straight into stealth mode taking down anybody who stood in her way._

_"But I'm still standing..." He replied, raising an eyebrow, his lips curling into a smile. "Better than I ever did!" He finished, singing the lyric, making Natasha laugh._

_"You okay now?" She asked, shuffling closer to him on the bed. His smile faded slowly and he brought his hand up, brushing a strand of her hair away._

_"Your here - of course I am." He told her in a serious tone, his eyes baring into hers at full intensity. _

_"Clint... I'm not good company to have around, I've got a lot of demons." _

_"I don't care, not killing you, not following through on the order... was the best decision I ever made." He told her earnestly, his upper body moving closer to her, the tip of his nose touching hers._

_She exhaled slowly, feeling very tempted by his closeness. She wasn't going to pretend she didn't notice the way he looked at her and how he flirted with her. She flirted back and she had needs, there was nothing wrong with that. Natasha leaned forward capturing his lips in hers and passionately kissing him. Clint kissed her back, wrapping his hands around her back and she pushed him down on the bed, still entwined with him. _

_Clint briefly broke away from the kiss, slightly breathless. "This might change a lot of things."_

_Natasha frowned, looking down at him. He was her only friend and she was about to ruin it, could she really afford to do that? "No it won't... Because nothing is happening. Sorry..." She muttered breathlessly, moving off of him and standing up. _

_"We're friends..." He cautiously said, looking at her with a strange look in his eyes._

_"Sure, You're like my family..." She replied casually, shrugging her shoulders. She cleared her throat, grabbing her purse and walking out of the room, regretting the kiss instantly. He is defiantly going to remember Budapest differently to her. _

"Hey." Bucky's voice announced, making Natasha turn around in surprise. His hair was slightly damp and he was dressed casually. He cautiously looked at her, unsure of what she would say in response or about last night. "You okay?" He added, noting the slightly distant look in her eyes.

"You should be asking yourself that." She replied, raising an eyebrow at him, hinting at what he was contemplating. She took another spoonful of cereal, the taste nonexistent due to the numerous thoughts that were occupying her.

"Honestly, I'm okay now-" He told her, sitting down on the chair, cautiously looking around the kitchen. _Don't trust her..._

"-Bucky." She interrupted, in a stern tone of voice, a knowing look in her eyes. No normal person would be okay after trying to kill themselves and he was far from a normal person.

"Yesterday was a shock to my system." He commented, shrugging his shoulders. His eyes darted to the draw where the file was and wondered if it was still there or if she had moved it. He narrowed his eyes, wondering why she would have made it so easily accessible in the first place, knowing it would make him want to kill himself. _Maybe to make it easy for herself? _

"It's not going to get easier." She sighed, emptying the rest of her cereal down the sink, her appetite completely gone. There was an atmosphere in the kitchen and it placed her on edge.

Bucky nodded, easy was never the word he had in mind with trying to regain his memory. He frowned, wondering if there was any memory to gain back. _What if things I remember are what HYDRA planted? What's the truth? And what about her? Natasha Romanoff conveniently was brainwashed and now she wants to kiss me. What's that about? What if she has a plan to wipe my memory again... _Bucky shook his head, inhaling sharply at the thoughts running around his head. He looked back up at Natasha, seeing her narrowing her eyes at him. "Why were you going to kiss me yesterday?"

Natasha scoffed, the corners of her mouth curling up at what he said. "It takes two to tango." She replied, noting the sudden shift in his posture and the way he talked. He was beginning to look detached and that wasn't a good sign.

"I moved away. You stayed there, but I moved away - I thought you were supposed to help me." He said, feeling more and more wary of the woman in front of him. This whole thing, the whole wanting to help him could have been a ploy. What if she is the enemy?

"I have been helping you, hence why you have remembered." She coldly replied, swallowing.

"Then why make the file so easily accessible? You knew that would tip me off the edge." He replied, standing up to face her. It was starting to make sense for him, she wanted it to look like an accident. It was a plan, all of it was a well thought out, elaborate plan. "I know exactly what's going on here... _Black Widow... _I know what kind of person you are, using your body and your looks to manipulate people... Trying to convince me I'm somebody who I'm not."

"Think." She stated, her eyes wide at his sudden turnabout in attitude. She mentally scolded herself for letting her guard down and being too trusting. What the hell was wrong with her? She shouldn't have gotten close to him... It just made him more suspicious. "You know who you are."

"Who **you **want me to be." He coldly spat back at her, his bionic hand curling up in a fist. His eyes widened, the connection becoming apparent. "Red Room - HYDRA... You worked for HYDRA. You're a double agent..." _You are my mission, my target. _

"Bucky..." Natasha warningly said, her left hand on the drawer handle behind her. Anything blunt she could grab would help her, if he was going to lose it.

His eyes widened, the room suddenly in a new perspective and a new rage taking over him at a rapid rate. He looked at her with cold concentration. "Who the hell is Bucky?"


	18. Chapter 18

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Thanks once again for the follows, favourites and reviews :)**

**I'm glad you all liked the change in direction, it just seemed realistic that somehow he would switch between who he is and what he is. **

**Please do leave a review and let me know what you think of this chapter, it's rather dark and grim. **

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**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

The moments which followed his words seemed to go on forever, the world toned down to slow motion for Natasha. She was in trouble; those words were what she had never wanted to hear him say. She supposed that it was partly her fault, constantly pushing him to remember, memories of the Red Room, reading through the file and her coming on to him. It would be impossible for anybody in his mind set to cope with that and the brains natural mechanism was to turn against her, make her seem like the enemy. Her initial thought was regret at strapping the gun back under the table where he stood, one swift move and there could be a bullet hole in her head. Her fingers were in the tiny opening of the draw, trying to feel for anything she could use as a weapon - nothing.

"Think carefully about what you are doing..." She huskily told him, her eyes fixed on him with complete concentration. He was going to go for her at any second, she knew it. Before he came here, she would have killed him if her turned. But he was right, as was Fury: There was a connection. They knew each other, somehow, in the Red Room. If she could remember, she could try and bring him out of this fragile, deadly state. _Basement! _She thought, remembering the old door under the rug in the living room. She had no need for a basement, but now she knew why. Fury must have had this planned for a while, so that if Bucky would change she could lock him down there. That was her only chance, lock him in the basement or kill him. The second option, being something she didn't want to consider.

"I already have!" He shouted back at her, quickly reaching down for the gun to the left of him, his eyes wide with rage.

Natasha quickly darted to the side as a shot rang, echoing in her ears. She glanced to the side, to see a bullet hole in the cupboard where her head would have been. _So, he's shooting to kill - great! _She quickly jumped up, just as she felt his hand on her shoulder hurling her backwards against the counter. She landed with full impact, the pain vibrating in her spine. As he charged towards her, she kicked out her leg, making him stumble slightly. She grunted, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist, trying to hold down his bionic arm, with all her strength. If he hit her with that, she would be done for - she knew that much. With her spare hand, she brought her finger up to his face and poked on the corners of his eye, making him grit his teeth in pain and trip backwards. She quickly, placed both of her hands on his shoulder, flipping herself over so that she was on his back and used all her force to kick him backwards, sending him flying into where she was a moment ago.

"Shit..." She muttered breathlessly, stumbling back up and running full speed out of the kitchen, hearing him following closely behind. Hand to Hand combat wouldn't get her far with him, she knew she could hold him off for a while, but until she had a weapon it wouldn't be much of a help. She slowed down her pace as she turned the corner, sidestepping towards her bedroom. She needed to make minimal noise. As she walked along the corridor, she opened every door she came across, so to confuse him slightly. She let out a silent sigh as she reached her bedroom and quickly opened the door, shutting it quietly behind her. She walked over to her dresser, opening the bottom draw and pushing aside the clothes seeing the two items she wanted to see: The audio recorder and a stun gun. Natasha glanced back by the door, hearing him in what she presumed was the bathroom; no doubt haunting her. She stood up, shakily turning on the recording device and eagerly pressing the record device.

"Fury - It's Romanoff. He's switched, I repeat, The Winter Soldier is trying to kill me. I'm hiding in the basement: He won't find me here - send back up!" She whispered urgently into the device, putting her acting skills to test, trying to make it sound convincing. Just as she placed the device in her back pocket, her door swung open and he aimed the gun towards her, firing several times. Natasha quickly glided down on the floor, sliding towards him. Once near him, she twisted to her side, kicking out her leg full force connecting to his groin. He made a sound of pain, turning the gun down at her, before she connected the stun gun to his leg, firing the trigger several times. His body jolted from the electricity that suddenly bolted through him and he fell to his knees, his eyes still on her, with steely determination to kill.

"Sorry to shock you." She muttered, kneeing him in the face. He connected to the floor with full force, giving room for her to run past him and towards the living area. He wouldn't be down for long, meaning that she had to act fast. As she approached the living room, she skidded to a halt grabbing the rug and tossing it to the side with all her force. She grabbed her keys off the table, fumbling to find the small one which unlocked the lock. As soon as she gripped it, she leant down quickly undoing the lock but leaving the padlock connected to the door. Timing was everything now. She swung open the door and switched the recording device on playback, turning the volume up to the maximum. She silently exhaled shakily, as she carefully dropped the device down the dark hole in the ground, hearing her own voice echoing up. She heard a soft thud from the room where _he _was and she quickly moved behind the sofa, eyeing the hanging lampshade on the ceiling. _That should help... _She optimistically thought, as she made herself as silent and still as possible. The only sound being the playback of her voice. She listened carefully as she heard his approaching footsteps, becoming considerably quieter as he heard her voice. He was close by, she could hear him breathing heavily, just on the other side of the sofa. Natasha listened carefully for the first shot, preparing herself to launch at him. As soon as she heard, the first gunshot she jumped up, leaping over the sofa and jumping up, grabbing a hold of the lampshade. She brought both of her legs up and swung towards him at full force just as he turned around. Both of her feet connected with his chest and the impact made him step back slightly, causing him to trip on the basement entrance. She landed softly on the floor, as she saw his head connect with the door hinge, the sound making a dull thud. He glanced once more at her and she shook her head at him, bringing out the stun gun and firing again, making his body jolt and fall down the stairs, landing with a loud sound at the bottom. Natasha gasped breathlessly, lunging to grab the door and slam it shut, quickly locking the padlock. She could hear his footsteps on the stairs beneath her, each sound making her heart beat faster. She wildly looked around, eyes landing on the sofa and she walked around pushing it to cover the door, just as he started to pound on the door.

"Oh, shit." She whispered breathlessly, the sweat running down the sides of her face. She frowned trying to calculate how many times he tried to shoot her, it was highly likely that he was out of ammo. She staggered back towards her bedroom, the pounding noise gradually drawing to silence. She pulled her bed out to the side and reached her hand out into the hall, where her phone was. She could feel the outline of the phone and the temptation to ring Fury was overwhelming. She swallowed, moving her hand to the left and grabbing the two loaded handguns that she had there, feeling slightly more assured to have some weapon on her. She headed back to the living room, her stomach doing flips at the silence which had occurred. The sofa was still where she left it, meaning he was still down there.

"I'm heavily armed!" She shouted, knowing fine well that he could hear her. "You try anything and I will shoot you! You need to remember who you are, James Barnes!" She added, hoping that by mentioning his name he would somehow remember.

"I am going to kill you when I get out of here!" He shouted back, his voice full of bitter rage and hatred.

Natasha shook her head, sighing heavily as she sunk down to the floor. She looked at the handgun which she held, wondering that if she had to - would she? She squeezed her eyes shut, just wanting him to remember, just somehow switch back. She couldn't play this cat and mouse game with him, there had to be a trigger - something to say to help him remember. _Maybe the Red Room? _She thought bitterly, huffing at how ludicrous the idea was. How could she remind him of something that she couldn't remember? She tilted her head back, that horrible helpless feeling overcoming her. She was alone with him, her life was in danger and yet she couldn't do anything about it. She felt lost, useless and helpless.

"I need you to help me, Bucky."


	19. Chapter 19

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

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**Apologies for slight delay, but hope you all like this chapter. Do leave a review and let me know :)**

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**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

_"You're the one they call Black Widow?" Bucky asked her, his eyes staring at her with an uncomfortable intensity. He held the knife in his hand, casually flipping it occasionally, the sharp blade glistening in the sunlight. She didn't know where they were, but the sun was bright and all she could see around her was green grass._

_Natasha took a step back, eyeing him cautiously for his next move. "Why are you talking like this, Bucky?" She asked, narrowing her eyes in confusion. _

_"You know why... You can't even remember what happened and you were the one that started it." He cryptically replied. _

_She shook her head, tilting her head at him as their surroundings changed. They were standing on the Hellicarrier, fire and smoke surrounded them. The background noise increased with the numerous explosions of debris. "What are you talking about?" She shouted at him, as he flipped the knife so that it was pointing towards her. He lunged forward and she dodged to the side, avoiding his stab at her._

_"The Red Room!" He yelled at her, trying to stab her again. Natasha stepped backwards, feeling the ledge on her feet. She glanced behind her seeing the abyss of destruction beneath her. _

_"I can't remember! I've tried and I can't!" She yelled back at him, her eyes wide in desperation. "Don't take me back there!"_

_"Too late!" He replied, lunging for her again. As quickly as he tried to lunge at her, she made the mistake of stepping backwards and feeling her body falling through the air. Everything slowed down around her, as she moved her arms trying desperately to grab anything, even though the action itself was useless. She gasped, catching his eyes as he coldly stared at her. The noise increased, pounding in her ears...Bang...Bang...Bang!_

Natasha sat upright on the sofa, breathing heavily at the visually disturbing dream she had just had. _Bang...Bang..._ She glanced over at the other sofa, which moved up slowly with each punch he was delivering to the door.

"What part of I'm heavily armed don't you understand?" She asked loud enough for him to stop making noise. She moved her legs, so that her feet were on the floor, confirming that gravity was still in place. She was still alive and here, and unfortunately so was he. She glanced at the clock seeing that she fell asleep for just over an hour, it was still sunlight outside, but that didn't mean anything. She closed her eyes, sighing heavily. She always knew what to do or what course of action to take next, but right now, she didn't have a clue. She didn't want back up, if she could even get it. This was something that she was partly responsible for, so she had to solve it. She stood up, stretching her arms and legs, the room eerily quiet for her liking.

"Why are you still here?" He asked her back, his voice so cold and demanding. He glanced up in the darkness, at where the door was and where he needed to get out. He didn't understand how the woman was still above. He had been in the basement for over an hour and she could have easily ran away, get a head start. But instead, she remained there.

"This is my house - You're my guest." She replied, sarcasm laced in her voice, as she paced backwards and forwards.

He narrowed his eyes, his fists clenched. She got the upper hand on him and he was determined to not let it happen again. She was his mission and she had manipulated him. "How did I end up here?" He replied, referring to the house, frowning remembering slight glimpses of the other rooms.

She swallowed, feeling slightly unnerved by the question. _So, he has forgotten __**everything **__that had happened here! _She thought bitterly. She glanced down at the basement door, feeling somewhat betrayed by Fury. He had clearly put a lot of thought into this and knew that he may switch between personalities. "You were in a museum, looking up the exhibit on you-"

"-There is no exhibit about me." He coldly interrupted, his voice shaking in anger. _Again...Lies. Every word is lies, trying to change me, trying to manipulate me._

"There is about _Bucky Barnes_." She told him, desperately hoping that something she would say would trigger his memory.

"Stop calling me that!" He yelled back at her, sick of that name which she kept saying. _Who __**is **__Bucky Barnes? A coward, A figment of their imaginations, something they are trying to make me - Who am I? _ He gritted his teeth as she flashed into his mind, tenderly holding his hand. _She's my enemy._

Natasha huffed, sitting back down on the sofa, taking a sip of the water. _Let's go back to basics. _"Why do you want to kill me?" She asked him, playing dumb on purpose.

"Your my mission." He simply replied, the edginess in his voice spending chills down her spine.

"Who gave you that mission?" She challenged him, starting to feel angry at him. He had remembered, however brief the memories, he had remembered who he really was. If he could make that progress once, he could do it again - she was determined of that fact. "The same people who wiped your memory." She added bitterly.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" He angrily responded, carefully walking down the stairs and taking a seat on the bottom one. He was breathing heavily and he felt confused. He could see it, but he didn't know where. The exhibit, his face was there and underneath his picture was that name again.

Natasha bit her lip, wondering if she should just come out and say it. "Red Room." She slowly said, eagerly waiting to hear his response.

"What did you say?"

"We knew each other in the red room." She said even louder, as if the volume of her speech would get it through to him. Maybe, it was a positive thing that the Red Room meant something. He remembered that, so if she could get him to remember her there, he may see the correlation.

"And here you are, trying to manipulate me." He bitterly responded. _How can she know about the Red Room? Perhaps, she was there, an Agent. Old habits die hard. _

"You're the one that told me that you trained me." She admitted, nibbling on the bottom of her lip, trying not to bring her mind back there. It was a last resort to take her mind back to that place, but this was a last resort scenario.

"Do you remember?" He curiously asked, wanting to know what her manipulation was involving. _What if it's the truth? No! The truth is that she needs to die, I need to kill her - that's the only truth. _

_Of course not! _She tilted her head back, feeling a migraine forming at the temples of her head. "Do you?"

"No." He shortly replied, narrowing his eyes. He didn't get why she hasn't ran from the place, furthermore why she was talking to him. _Why am I talking back? _

"Neither do I..." She whispered, closing her eyes, desperately trying to track her mind set, trying to remember anything about him and the Red Room. Within seconds, she could visualise her old bedroom which she resided in whilst training there and he was there. Slightly younger, by not much. She must have been about twenty years old, perhaps younger or not. She squinted her eyes even tighter trying to clearly remember what happened there..._ He looked at her, an unknown emotion in his face, the corners of his lips curling upwards. "You've grown up, Natalia." He told her, moving slightly closer to her. The room was empty and there was no chance of anybody walking in._

_"Natasha - That's my name now." She replied, feeling pleased to see him again. He was mysterious, he was dangerous and he was unknown. He didn't have a name, yet she didn't care. She had waited for him to return, she needed him to return. _

_"Your English is more fluent." He commented, noting how her native Russian accent has almost completely disappeared. He lightly touched one of her long curls with his finger, not taking his eyes off her. _

_"Are you impressed?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him, moving even closer to him. He raised the corner of his lips, before pushing her against the wall, his mouth less than a centimetre from hers. She smirked at him, her hands lifting up the bottom of his top._

_"Yes..." He hissed back at her, lightly kissing the base of her neck, his hand resting on her hips. "Perhaps you should show me the rest of your skill set."_

_"Shut up and kiss me." _

Natasha opened her eyes, the memory now vivid in her mind, her mouth open in shock. _That was a memory. That was real - that happened. _Her eyes were wide in realisation, yet she still needed to know what happened before. He told her he remembered training with her, not sleeping with her. "That explains a lot..."


	20. Chapter 20

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

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**Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

Natasha stood up breathing heavily, at the memory which hit her. She glanced towards the basement door in a mixture curiosity and fear. She feared that all the progress he had made had now been lost, however he _was _telling the truth about knowing her when she was in the Red Room. She couldn't remember him training her, there was a mental block with that aspect. However, she pondered about what they were. It was pretty obvious, from what she remembered, they had a physical relationship. It explained a lot, why there was a connection and why she felt attracted to him. She almost felt like she needed him and that memory, their history, was a valid reason of why. It was almost ironic, she thought, how they both knew each other when they were brainwashed by HYDRA and now they know each other when they are not. She could see the image of them again, against the wall, entwined with one another. She shook her head and walked towards the kitchen, needing to distract herself.

"What happened there..." She mumbled to herself, hoping she could somehow prompt herself to remember everything else that happened. It wasn't as though she could just open the basement door and say they slept together, call it a truce. She smirked lightly, wondering what his reaction _would _be if she were to tell him what she remembered - most likely a bullet to the face. Natasha glanced numbly at the fridge, feeling slightly hungry but in no way having an appetite to eat. There was a man in her basement who didn't know who he was, he wants to kill her and she hated that. She knew he was Bucky, he was James Barnes and she just wants him to remember that. She bit her lip, wondering if she should call Steve. _Like that conversation would go well... Whilst you're looking for your friend, he's been hiding out with me, I slept with him years back and oh, he's now a killer...again. _She breathed in deeply, trying to shake out the thoughts of giving up.

"No phone calls... No easy way out." She decisively said out loud to herself. She knew exactly what he was going through, how apprehensive you can be to support...

_SEVEN YEARS AGO..._

" _So do I call you Natalia Romanova or Natasha Romanoff?" Nick Fury asked, leaning forward on the desk. There was a pile of papers to the left of him with a small photograph of her on them. No doubt they were listing the numerous crimes she had committed._

_Natasha stared coldly back at him, from the opposite side, well aware of the fact that their conversation was being monitored. "Neither."_

_"So, you're now nameless?" He rhetorically asked, a hint of sarcasm laced in his voice._

_She narrowed her eyes at him, the whole thing was a mistake. Sure, she was grateful to Barton not killing her, but now this man in front of her - the director of SHIELD, wants her on board. The idea was pathetic, taking on somebody they ordered to kill. "This is a mistake - I want to leave." She announced glancing over at the door._

_Nick smiled, standing up. He slowly walked over to the door and opened it, motioning the way out. "You are more than welcome to leave, but you wouldn't last a week out there."_

_"I've lasted longer." _

_He nodded, noting her tense and cold body language. "Have you now? Because last thing I knew was that my guy had the drop on you-"_

_"-But he made a different call-" She interrupted. _

_"-And if he didn't-"_

_"-I'd be dead."_

_He walked back over to the chair, seeing that she hadn't moved and sat back down. "You're getting the hang of this." He told her, staring at her with one eye._

_"I'm not taking orders from __**anybody**__." She said, determined to not go back to being somebody's puppet. If that was what SHIELD wanted, then they would be greatly disappointed._

_"We don't give orders...we ask you to help and you do if you want to." He replied, shrugging his shoulders._

_"And If I don't want to help?" She challenged, pursing her lips. _

_"Then you don't. It's really that simple."_

_Natasha inhaled sharply, her long curls tied back informally. "I'm not good at working with others." She warned. _

_Nick glanced down at the pile of papers, before looking back up at her, a strange look in his eye. "You've always worked by yourself?"_

_"Yes." She replied shortly. She glanced down at her hands, wondering if that was the case. She remembered taking down the targets without assistance. Although, there was one time she remembered being accompanied by a man on one of her missions, she couldn't remember his face though. " I think so." She added, after a moment's pause._

_"You were brainwashed by HYDRA." He slowly said, awaiting her reaction cautiously. _

_Natasha tensed up, the images of what they made her do flashing before her eyes. "Yes." She huskily replied, trying to keep as stoic as possible._

_"Do you remember much?" He prodded, wanting to get an answer from her._

_She glanced up at him, narrowing her eyes. "It's a sour subject."_

_"That's my speciality." He replied, the corners of his lips turning up slightly._

_She noted that he wasn't sympathising with her, he was being realistic. He was talking to __**her, **__not at her, but to her. He was talking to her like a human, like someone that can speak and do things for themselves. She hadn't had that for a very long time. "Flashes. I keep getting them and then I feel disconnected. It's not safe for people to be around me when I get them. One slip and they could be dead." She told him, starting to feel slightly more at ease. She liked him, he was straight to the point - no bullshitting. _

_"Well, The only person you have to worry about killing is me."_

_"Why's that?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow._

_He leaned forward, giving her a serious look. "Because I'm going to help you."_

_Natasha swallowed, she couldn't be helped. She had killed, she had murdered and hurt innocent people. The circumstances weren't relevant, what was relevant were the crimes she committed. "Don't waste your time with me. I've had my chance, I've messed it up."_

_He smiled at her, picking up her papers and throwing them in the bin on the floor, to the left of him. "Everybody deserves a second chance."_

"Everybody deserves a second chance." She repeated out loud, her heart feeling slightly heavy from remembering her first meeting with Fury. _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Natasha ran into the living room, eyes widened from the loud noise which she heard. She skidded to a halt seeing the sofa bouncing off the floor and back down again, he was using excessive force and would be out of there any second. She couldn't let that happen. She grabbed her hand gun and cocked it, walking over to where the base of the door was. She stamped her foot down several times, making sure he heard her.

"Stop that!" She yelled at him, her voice wavering slightly. "Or I'll shoot!" It was an empty threat. She would shoot to warn him, scare him - not hurt or kill him.

There was a moments silence before he started punching the door more aggressively than before, repeatedly. Natasha bit her lip aiming the gun near the door and firing twice. The shots echoed in her ear and she heard a dull thud, followed by silence. She frowned, kneeling down and pressing her ear against the floor, holding her breath to hear any sign of movement. She heard nothing but her own thudding heartbeat and quavering breath.

"Hey!" She shouted down to him, hoping to hear a reply. "You hear me? Can you hear me? Answer!" She shouted even more loudly, frowning at the silence she heard in response. She exhaled loudly, her heart beating even loudly in her ears. She wasn't sure if she shot him, she aimed so that she wouldn't. _What if it's a trick? _She reminded herself, frowning at the prospective of him being hurt. _Or what if he's genuinely hurt? _She kneeled up, glancing around the room as if something there would help her.

"Natasha...Help me...Please..."


	21. Chapter 21

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Apologies, for the slight delay in this chapter - Good old Life has kept me super busy (Y)**

**Thank you to everybody that has added the story to favourites, followed it and reviewed. It keeps me motivated and I'm glad you are all enjoying this.**

**Enjoy the next chapter :) Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

_"Natasha...Help me...Please..."_

He sounded like he was in pain, the strain in his voice was slight, but evidently there. Natasha inhaled shakily, still kneeling down by the basement door. The silence was deadly and it unnerved her greatly. There was no better liar than her; That was one of specialities, lying and manipulation. But now it was to the point, where she couldn't even tell if he was lying or not and that made sense. He had been brainwashed and trained, no doubt, by HYDRA. She narrowed her eyes, sitting back and stretching out her legs in front of her. This was not how the situation was supposed to go, she was supposed to help him, he would remember and live his life. Things never went the way they were supposed to go, that was just Natasha's luck. She sighed, concluding on what the best course of action would be - Interrogation, without the interrogating. Ask him questions, try and catch him out and god forbid, if he seemed to be back to _normal _again, she would have no choice but to let him out and be on guard.

"Why do you want my help?" She asked out loud, making her voice sound as neutral as possible. She tried to soften the sound of her breathing and her rapid heartbeat, so that she would be able to hear any sign of movement.

"You shot me!" He shouted back, that hint of pain still laced in his voice. She heard the faint sound of him shuffling, followed by a hiss of pain.

Natasha raised her eyebrows at his response, she aimed so that she wouldn't have hit him by no chance possible. _So, I did shoot him... _She brought her left hand up to the scar on her shoulder, remembering when he shot her. _Karma's a bitch. _ "You were trying to get out - You were punching at the door." She explained loudly, shaking her head slightly.

"I don't... I don't know where I am..." He replied, his voice quavering towards the end of the sentence. "I need to stand- Ah!" He grunted in pain, a slight thud.

Natasha swallowed, the temptation to let him out overwhelming. He sounded like he was in pain and it was her responsibility to help him. _How can I give up on him after everything he has been through? If he's lying, he's doing a damn fine job at it. Let's try and catch you out, shall we? _ She cleared her throat, tilting her head up slightly. "If you didn't know where you are - You wouldn't have known I was here."

"You called me, I knew it was you... Oh, God... I'm losing a lot of blood, Natasha." He replied instantly, grunting again, sounding as if he was in serious pain.

Natasha tilted her head back, blinking back tears. She didn't get why he affected her so much, the sound of him in pain literally tore at her and she couldn't bear it. She had to try and remain logical throughout this though, her life depended on it. If he was lying... If he was tricking her, he was doing it very good. It made her wonder what exactly he trained her on; was it just fighting or perhaps more psychological? "You were trying to kill me!" She shouted back at him, remembering how violent and aggressive he was. It was that look in his eyes, how his persona switched just with one hint of emotion in his eyes.

There was a moment of silence, before he spoke up, sounding slightly breathless. "Everything got to me-"

"-Like what?" She interrupted, wanting him to get straight to the point.

"The memories... The flashes..._You..._" He replied, his voice still breathless with pain.

Natasha squeezed her eyes shut, bringing her hands up to the side of her head. She exhaled shakily, the images appearing again. "Get out of my head..." She whispered weakly, seeing herself as a young girl training in the Red Room, the people she had to kill..._The Winter Soldier..._

_Natasha grunted as she fell to the floor, hissing in pain at the sharp sting she felt at the side of her face. She exhaled slowly, turning her head to look at him, still standing there. She was lucky that he didn't hit her with his bionic hand, the damage would have been more painful. She got up quickly, ignoring the slight dizziness which overcame her._

_"Did I or did I not tell you last time, that you would only speak to me in English?" He asked her darkly, his face completely stoic. _

_She narrowed her eyes at him, regaining her fighting stance, ready to try and take him on again. "__**Yes... **__You did." She replied sarcastically, determined to beat him. _

_"If one word of Russian comes out of your mouth-"_

_"-The damage would be permanent?" She interrupted, giving him a cold stare. "You should be more concerned about the damage I could cause to you!" _

_The corners of his lips turned upward, showing a slight hint of emotion, breaking the stoic look which he constantly had. "Then let's begin."_

Natasha gasped out loud, opening her eyes, the feeling in her stomach making her feel like she was going to throw up. She glanced around the room, as she tried to regain her breath, making certain that she was there and safe. She was younger in the memory which she just saw and he was brutal, violent - As he was now. He sounded convincing, he sounded like he was in pain and she couldn't risk him bleeding to death. _How would I explain that to Steve? _She thought, a pang of guilt hitting her.

"Natasha?" He called, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"I don't know if it's you, If you're tricking me - I may kill you." She admitted , reaching into her jean pocket and taking out the key for the padlock. She eyed it cautiously.

"There's blood everywhere..." He commented. "I don't know what you want me to say, but I need you to help me! Please!"

She bit her lip, leaning forward towards the lock and placing the key in there. One turn and there would be no going back. _If he is lying - __**If - **__can I shoot him? _She asked herself, already knowing the answer. Her fingers still held the key in place. All she needed to do was turn it. _Can I trust him? Can I trust him?_


	22. Chapter 22

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Thank you once again for the kind reviews, favourites and follows. **

**Enjoy the next chapter :) Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

"Before I let you out..." She called out to him, the key still in the lock. "We need to establish some ground rules." She told him, reminding herself of when she said that to him, when he first came here. She was hoping her was shot and that he was back to his normal self. _The final test... _She thought to herself, if he would remember when she said that before, that would be solid proof that he did remember.

There was a few seconds of silence, before he replied. "Again?"

Natasha smirked lightly, feeling somewhat relieved. _He remembered. _She needed him around here and he needed her. She just didn't know exactly _how _to be around him. Since remembering, that they had a physical relationship in the past, things felt different. _It may be slightly different, but he has to find out for himself..._ She convinced herself. "I have weapons, hidden and loaded - one wrong move on your part and it will be the last move you make. " She shouted down shakily, her palms starting to sweat. She was playing Russian Roulette here, a chance she could die or a chance she could live, all dependent on him. She was gambling with her own life. _We can't have lost all this progress he's made... No chance in hell._ She gripped the key lightly. "I'm going to open the door and you need to walk up slowly, bringing any weapons and dropping them to the floor - Understand?"

"Yes." He replied, straining slightly to stand up, from what she could hear.

"Well then...here goes nothing." She muttered to herself, twisting the key, till the lock clicked. She inhaled sharply, and swung open the door, taking a step back. She removed the handgun from her back pocket and held it steady, preparing herself in case he lunged at her. She could hear his slow footsteps gradually growing louder as he got closer and closer to the top. _He's still the same person, don't forget that. He's fragile, broken and it doesn't matter what history there is between us. History doesn't repeat itself. _She firmly told herself, the few seconds seeming like an unending eternity. Truthfully, she didn't even know where to go from here. So, he comes back out, he would be more cautious and less open following the episode. There was still so much to uncover, but now it seemed like it would take forever to find out, if they ever do. Her eyes widened as he emerged slowly, stepping to the side and looking darkly at her. His hand gripped the side of his stomach, but she couldn't see any blood. His bionic hand held the knife which he had and he threw it over at her, the knife clattering on the floor by her feet. She narrowed her eyes at him, glancing at his hand which was clutching his stomach. He said there was blood everywhere, yet there was not a single drop to be seen.

"It's good to be out of there." He stoically said to her, the dark, distant look still in his eyes.

"Move your hand." She slowly told him, through gritted teeth, feeling a rush of rage overcome her. He wasn't back to normal, she could tell by his body language, his facial expressions. He just carried on staring at her darkly, so she raised the gun towards him. "Move your fucking hand!" She repeated, her voice raised in anger. She watched as he slowly removed his hand, confirming her suspicions. Not a single spot of blood - he was lying to her, she never shot him. "Get back in there." She sharply told him, breathing heavily. He shook his head, crouching down to grab the door and she watched as he slammed it shut, twisting the key and placing it his pocket.

"What else was I supposed to do?" He darkly asked her, taking a step towards her. His hair was messy and there was a slight smudge of dirt on his face. Apart from that, it looked like their fight didn't affect him at all.

"You lied!" She hissed at him, feeling incredibly tempted to hit him, her eyes wide with anger.

"I wasn't going to stay down there any longer... It's me...sort of." He told her, in a cold manner. She noticed that his bionic hand was in a fist and his teeth were slightly gritted. It was like he was trying to control himself.

"Sort of?" She repeated, raising an eyebrow. She didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"I still want to kill you - I have this overwhelming urge to kill you." He admitted, breathing heavily. "I can control it though, a part of me thinks you're the enemy, but I remember everything from these past couple of weeks."

Natasha blinked at him. "Thanks for the reassurance." She dryly replied, cautiously eyeing him. "Let me get this straight - You are you to some degree."

"But I still want to kill you." He whispered, an unknown look flickering in his eyes.

"Are you going to?" She asked him, curious as to what his response would be.

"No... But, there is something you're not telling me." He said, taking another step towards her.

_He knows. _She shook her head, confirming that she would definitely not be telling him what she remembered. "I just remembered you training me in the Red Room - do you remember that?"

He took another step towards her so that he was right in front of her. She swallowed, not sure of what his next action would be. He brought up his hand and placed it lightly on her neck, slight more pressure and he would have been strangling her. She tightened the grip on her gun, feeling uneasy at his close distance to her. "I remember... but there's something else."

"I don't know what you mean." She replied, fighting the temptation to take a step back from him. She wasn't going to back down, he was trying to intimidate her.

He narrowed his eyes at her, deciding if she was lying or not. "There's something else. Like I said - I have a temptation to kill you..." His grip on her neck tightened slightly and she let out a shudder, mentally thanking him for not using his bionic arm. "...But there's another temptation, another urge." He whispered, breathing heavily.

"To let go of my neck?" She sarcastically asked him in a steady tone. She didn't want him to get close didn't want him too loose grip of who he is again. He was more detached than before, much colder than before. She noticed him glancing down at her lips, before looking back up at her.

"Exactly." He hissed at her, removing his hand from her. She silently let out a sigh of relief, taking a step back. "Keep your distance from me." He warningly told her, before walking out of the living room.

Natasha leaned against the sofa, breathing heavily from his strange behaviour. _Get a grip. _She told herself, as she glanced back down at the basement door. "You don't have to tell me twice."


	23. Chapter 23

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Thank you once again for the kind reviews, favourites and follows. **

**This chapter is taking a darker turn of events, do let me know what you think of it **

**Enjoy the next chapter :) Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

Natasha leaned against the kitchen counter, gazing at the sunlight outside. The smell of coffee was faint in the air, but it did nothing to help her sleepiness. Last night, was nothing short of a restless night for her. Partly, due to the fact that he could have tried to kill her in sleep, but mainly because she didn't know if he _knew. _He was the first to remember that he trained her, so surely it was safe to assume that he would have been the first to have known that they slept together. She inhaled sharply, turning her head as she heard a door slam and his heavy footsteps approaching. She watched as he walked into the kitchen, not even acknowledging her. He looked as if he had just woken up, only wearing jogging bottoms and his hair messy. He opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water, gulping it down for several seconds. Natasha narrowed her eyes at him as he picked up a fork and had a bite of the eggs which were left on her plate. _Attack me, pretend I'm not here and now eat my food, which, I wasn't finished with! _ She watched cautiously as he finished off the eggs and turned around to head back out.

"No." She said out loud, in a cold manner, making him stop and turn around to look at her, that dark, distant look very visibly present. She wasn't going to let him just walk out, if this was what it were to be like every single day. She was there for him to remember and he wasn't even cooperating.

"No, what?" He coldly asked, taking two steps towards her.

Natasha straightened up her posture, still cautiously observing him. "This isn't how it's going to happen." She told him.

He scoffed lightly, shaking his head briefly. "You don't get to decide."

Her eyes widened slightly at his response. "Yes - I do. You're here because I'm helping you to remember."

"There's nothing to remember." He bitterly responded, his bionic hand forming into a fist.

"No?" She mockingly responded, raising her eyebrows at him.

"Exactly." He hissed back at her, still staying where he was. He darkly looked at her, his next move unknown. He was stoic and playing the poker face very well.

Natasha took a deep breath, preparing to let him know _exactly _what there is to remember. She wasn't going to play around, pretending to amicably get on with him. She had to get straight to the point, the whole point of her being there was to get a new cover for herself, but instead she was dedicating her time to him - and he was prepared to waste it. "Steve Rogers...The Red Room...HYDRA." She slowly said, observing how he lowered his head slightly. If looks could kill, she would have been dead, by the way he was staring at her. She waited for a second, before continuing. "How about when they experimented on you? Don't remember? How about when they froze you? _Every single time... _They took your free will away from you."

"Shut. Up." He slowly spat at her, through gritted teeth, his whole body tensing up.

Natasha noted his reaction to what she had said, which proved that it all meant something to him, no matter how much he stated it didn't. She swallowed. "If you remember all of this - you wouldn't have a problem with me saying it."

"You're playing with your life." He told her in a threatening manner.

She slowly shook her head at him, the atmosphere in the kitchen becoming unbearably tense. She wasn't scared of him, she knew that much. "No... You're playing with yours."

"I said - Shut Up!" He shouted at her, charging forward towards her. Natasha tried to dodge to the side but he swiftly caught her arm and pushed her forcefully against the counter, the edge hitting her spine, causing a sharp sting to spread across her back. She hissed slightly, breathing heavily. The temptation to hit him back was overwhelming, but he knew her tricks. She couldn't repeat what had happened the previous day - there was nowhere, but he wouldn't kill her. He had the opportunity and didn't take it.

"So do something." She spat at him, glaring from the rough grip he had on her arms. "Winter Soldier... It's a name, It's not what you are."

"And Black Widow is not who you are." He replied to her, tightening the grip slightly, causing her to breathe in harshly. He steadily looked at her face for a moment, before the corners of his lips turned upwards. "I remember..."

Natasha swallowed, frowning at what he had just said. "Training me?" She questioned, a hint of hope in her voice. It could be the start for some progress, if he could remember that, it could branch out to his past, to the missing gaps.

He craned his neck, so that his lips were by her ears. "Fucking you." He whispered, moving back to see her reaction. Her breaths became slightly more shallow and her shoulders tensed up. He had remember what she feared. He tilted his head to the side slightly. "And now you have nothing to say." He mockingly told her, whilst she tried her best to avoid his eye contact. "You're a world class liar, because I helped you become that liar. I know the traits... But you don't remember that much about it - do you?" Natasha slowly shook her head, feeling a mixture of fear and panic hitting her. "You do remember how I touched you though... How I kissed you, How you begged me for more..." He whispered, a dark look flickering in his eyes. He moved her right wrist next to her left one so that his bionic hand had a grip on both of them. He placed his other hand on her hip, slowly moving it down to her thigh, gripping it lightly.

"Don't touch me." She quietly hissed at him, feeling uncomfortable at his actions.

He hoarsely chuckled, moving his hand slowly to the front of her leg, shuffling upwards ever so slightly. "I warned you, I told you that there is this **constant **voice in my head, telling me to kill you. But now... There's another voice, telling me to touch you, just like before..." Natasha swallowed, trying to move away from his grip, he tightened the grip even more on her wrists and she instantly stopped moving, grimacing in pain. If he were to put any more weight on her wrists, he would break them. "Since you like telling me what to do - which voice should I listen to?"

Natasha tried to calm her heart rate down, the rapid pounding echoing in her ears and the too-close proximity of him making her uncomfortable. If this was another situation, when he wasn't like the Winter Soldier, then maybe she would be okay with it, maybe she would have led him on to this. But not like this, not with him about to break her bones. "James Barnes." She shakily said. "That's who you. You were making progress and there is always going to be a part of the Winter Soldier with you, But You need to-"

"-Accept it?" He sarcastically interrupted, his hand quickly moving to the inside of her thigh, making her grimace slightly. "Am I making you uncomfortable?

Natasha gritted her teeth, trying to think of any escape route or how to get to her two hidden handguns. "I'm warning you - don't touch me."

"Or what? You'll lock me down in the basement?"

"You're slipping - remind yourself of who you _really _are!"

"Manipulator...Liar...Traitor...Assassin?" He slowly told her, moving his hand away from her thigh and up to her face, tilting it up so that she had to look at him. "Then we have a lot in common."


	24. Chapter 24

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Thank you once again for the kind reviews, favourites and follows. **

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**Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

_It's all just mind games..._ She convinced herself, trying to focus on anything but the closeness of him. She steadied her breathing so that it was no longer rapid and she wasn't deprived of oxygen. _Focus... Liar, Manipulator? Of Course. That's what I am, I'm proud of it... Wait... _The corners of her mouth turned upwards as an idea struck her, the realisation of what was right in front of her. He may be twisted right now and more like the emotionless Winter Soldier, but she could tell that was some part of the real him, holding back. He had many opportunities to kill her: At this moment, prior to that or last night. Furthermore, he had made it too easy for her to catch him out. He may _want _to kill her, but the decent part of him, in the back of his head is holding back. He didn't realise that she knew that, she had the upper hand. She had to play him back at his own game.

"Is something amusing?" He asked her, still roughly gripping her chin, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at her.

Natasha chuckled lightly, earning a slightly confused look from him. "What's the matter?" She mockingly asked, bring her right leg up and hooking it around his hips, pushing his closer to her. "We're so alike after all...So what's wrong with having some fun, Mm?" She was able to slip into the role immediately, try and gain as much information and confirm her suspicions.

"Trying to trick me again?" He darkly asked, pushing against her more.

Natasha tried to hide her discomfort and keep up with her act. She chuckled, starting to move her hips against him, making him groan. "What's the point? After all, this has happened before, right? So, kill me or fuck me." She whispered, pouting.

His breathing became more shallow, as he started to move his hips in sync with her, his lips grazing her neck. "Don't tempt me..." He hoarsely whispered back.

Natasha gasped out loud as she felt the tip of his tongue and adjusted moving her head slightly back. This was far as she could take it, she had to tempt him, get him going and then see if he would do anything about it. "To do what?" She innocently asked, biting her bottom lip slowly, making sure he was looking at her. _Don't enjoy this... _ She reminded herself, feeling like she was slowly slipping. It was easy to get lost in the moment, but her life was ultimately at stake.

"You know what." He replied, removing his hand from her chin and moving it down to grip her thigh.

"Cause you always get what you want."

"Exactly." He hissed, starting to move even faster against her, his hand trailing up to her waistband of her pants, his fingers tracing the buttons.

"You're right - why bring up the past? That part of you is _long _gone..." She replied, the sensation of him rubbing against her proving too much. It all felt too familiar and she wanted to go further, she needed him. _Think of the most important thing at stake here! _ She licked her lips, looking up at him. "So fuck me."

He blinked, tilting his head slightly, her statement clearly surprising him. "Now?"

"You look doubtful." She commented, as he stopped moving and shuffled back slightly, his bionic hand letting go of her wrists.

"Don't aggravate me." He warningly said, stepping back from her and still breathing heavily. His eyes traced her from head to toe, a look of lust still in his eyes.

Natasha smirked, rotating her wrists to get the blood circulating. "No... You just confirmed what I thought." She told him to go for it and he backed off, he was in control of his actions. She looked at his bare chest, trying to resist the temptation to step towards him and finish what they started.

He gritted his teeth, furrowing his brows together. "What were you thinking?"

"That despite what **you **think... the real you, _James Barnes_, is still there." She said, watching him frown as she said his name. "Otherwise, you would have already killed me and as I just demonstrated...you wouldn't touch me unless I made the first move."

He shook his head, squinting his eyes at her, at how she had played him. "We slept together back in the Red Room." Natasha nodded, feeling slight discomfort at him bringing up the topic. "If I leave, what would you do?"

"Nothing - you wouldn't last a day out there." She replied, watching him as he sat down on the chair.

"So, what am I doing here?"

Natasha sighed, crossing her arms and frowning, recalling the events of the past few days. "I'm trying to help you and you're trying to kill me - not exactly an ideal situation. You need to get that voice out of your head."

"And you're the one to do that?" He challenged, raising his eyebrows at her.

Natasha tilted her head up, nodding at what he said. "Yes... I am. Starting tomorrow - I ask the questions, you find the answers. I won't play nice anymore."

"That almost sounds threatening."

"Well, you know all about that." She slyly commented. "If you don't cooperate, I _will _ call in extra help."

He stood up, a sly grin on his face at her controlling and demanding manner. "So, now you're taking control? Going to **make **me cooperate?"

"You don't get a choice." She coldly replied, breathing out slowly. If she had to use torture methods she would, she was sick to death of making progress and then getting set back. Fury would be expecting an update, in fact, it was long overdue. She would be lucky if he hadn't sent somebody to check in. _Who would he send? Hill? Stark? Rogers? _An unwelcome guest, wouldn't exactly help the situation. Although, she needed to concentrate, as much as she would hate to admit it, she enjoyed that encounter with him a lot more than she would care to admit. There was a tension between them and she was determined to not end it, as there was only one solution. She watched him as he slowly walked out of the kitchen. "Hey, Bucky!" She called. He tensed up slightly, before turning his head around to look at her. She looked him up and down, a knowing look in her eyes. "Take a cold shower."


	25. Chapter 25

**FAMILILAR HABITAT**

**Thank you once again for the kind reviews, favourites and follows. Sorry for the super long delay, I have been crazy-busy!**

**Enjoy the next chapter :)**

**Read, Review & Enjoy :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

Natasha sat down on her bed, having not seen Barnes in several hours, since their last encounter. She felt lost, she wanted to help him, perhaps recent events may have jolted his memory quite a bit. She turned the phone in her hand, contemplating whether or not to call Steve. How could that even happen? What would she say? _Hey, Steve... It's me, you know - Natasha who knew Bucky before in Russia and is now living with him, whilst you are out looking for him - Sorry. _She huffed at the ludicrous idea. Inhaling sharply, she pressed the re-dial button and waited for Fury to answer.

"About bloody time!" He answered within seconds. She expected something of that response, after all she hadn't spoken to him in ages - for all he knew she could have been dead.

Natasha pursued her lips, her eyes darting around the room. "Well, I've been..occupied."

"He switched?" He asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

Natasha closed her eyes, the events of the past few days flashing before her eyes. It wasn't healthy, this twisted relationship they had...if she could even call it that. They were friends... that wanted to kill each other. "For a brief time - I now see the use for the basement."

"I always think ahead. " He replied simply. "So - He's remembered quite a bit, switched and now is back to normal." Natasha murmured in agreement, leaning forward, looking at the handgun. "How much has he remembered now?"

"I haven't really had that discussion yet."

"So, since you let him out - What happened?" He curiously asked.

Natasha swallowed. "It's complicated... I remember him training me in the Red Room and we also had a physical relationship in the past." She hesitantly replied.

There was a moment of silence on the other end, before Fury finally spoke. "Are you okay?" He sincerely asked, he knew better than anybody how hard it was for her to move on from her past life.

"Yeah." She huskily replied, not able to get rid of the sinking feeling in her stomach. "Why don't we bring in Rogers?" She suggested.

"You just said you have a past with him?"

"True."

"So, why does Rogers have to come to him? Don't you think in due time that he is going to try and find Rogers, mend the broken bonds?" Fury suggested.

Natasha exhaled slowly, raising her eyebrows at his statement. It was obvious, but she had refused to let herself think that far ahead. "I haven't...thought that far."

"You're scared of him leaving." He deduced.

"I've gotten used to him." She admitted, standing up and slowly pacing around her small bedroom. She smiled slightly, thinking about everything which they had gone through together.

"How far did you know him before?"

"He trained me, taught me a lot of moves I know... Taught me how to lie well..." She replied.

Fury chuckled once. "He can try **my **lie detector then we'll see."

Natasha smirked at what he had said, still never knowing if she had in fact passed his lie detector test. "Did I or did I not pass?"

"You'll never know."

"If he does leave... what do I do? This place is compromised...It's only a matter of time before somebody will figure out where I am." She commented, looking around the room which she had gotten used to.

"Things happen for a reason..." He told her sternly. "If Barnes finds Steve, Steve will find you... you two are a good team."

"Have you got another place I could lay low?" She asked, wondering where the hell she would go after this, what she would do.

"In Europe... It's a change, but you're welcome there. One of the places which government won't find." He told her. "I have to go - Bye."

"It's a Deal and bye." She replied, before hanging up the phone. She breathed in shakily feeling a sudden rush of anxiety rush over her. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the feelings and headed out towards the living room, stopping in her tracks seeing Bucky standing there, his suitcase by the door.

"You're leaving?" She asked out loud, looking between his bags and where he was standing. His shoes weren't on, meaning that he wasn't going to go at any second.

He lifted the corner of his lips, walking over to the sofa and sitting down, sighing as he did. "I've come to realise... That this is who I am. The Winter Soldier is a part of me...So, is Bucky Barnes - I can't get rid of one or the other."

Natasha nodded, frowning at his sudden confession. She slowly walked over to where he was sitting and took a seat next to him. "What made you realise that?" She quietly asked.

"You." He quickly replied, looking over at her. "Everything that happened. I have one last discussion to have with you - and just discussion only."

"About?"

"I've remembered... I've remembered everything."


End file.
